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Family dynamics

28th Sep 2018

Mother posts powerful message about her child not sharing with other kids

Olivia Hayes

What’s your take on this?

We all teach our kids how to share. They share with their brothers, sisters, cousins, friends… even with us sometimes. But what about sharing with strangers? Do they have to?

A post from last year is doing the rounds on the Internet this week and it shares an important message, which we honestly never thought of.

At the very top of the Facebook post, the mum writes: “MY CHILD IS NOT REQUIRED TO SHARE WITH YOURS.”

viral-mom-post-teaching-son-not-share-23

And while people we’re obviously taken aback by it, the more you read, the more you understand.

Alanya Kolberg continues: “As soon as we walked in the park, Carson was approached by at least 6 boys, all at once demanding that he share his transformer, Minecraft figure, and truck. He was visibly overwhelmed and clutched them to his chest as the boys reached for them. He looked at me.

“‘You can tell them no, Carson,’ I said. ‘Just say no. You don’t have to say anything else.’

“Of course, as soon as he said no, the boys ran to tattle to me that he was not sharing. I said, ‘He doesn’t have to share with you. He said no. If he wants to share, he will’.”

Of course, that didn’t go down too well with the other parents in the park, with Alanya continuing: “That got me some dirty looks from other parents. Here is the thing though:

“If I, an adult, walked into the park eating a sandwich, am I required to share my sandwich with strangers in the park? No!

“Would any well-mannered adult, a stranger, reach out to help themselves to my sandwich, and get huffy if I pulled it away? No again.

“So really, while you’re giving me dirty looks, presumably thinking my son and I are rude, whose manners are lacking here? The person reluctant to give his 3 toys away to 6 strangers, or the 6 strangers demanding to be given something that doesn’t belong to them, even when the owner is obviously uncomfortable?

“The goal is to teach our children how to function as adults. While I do know some adults who clearly never learned how to share as children, I know far more who don’t know how to say no to people, or how to set boundaries, or how to practice self-care. Myself included.

“In any case, Carson only brought the toys to share with my friend’s little girl, who we were meeting at the park. He only didn’t want to share with the greedy boys because he was excited to surprise her with them.

“The next time your snowflake runs to you, upset that another child isn’t sharing, please remember that we don’t live in a world where it’s conducive to give up everything you have to anyone just because they said so, and I’m not going to teach my kid that that’s the way it works.”

What do you think of Alanya’s message? Do you agree?

Topics:

children,sharing