Search icon

Family dynamics

29th Mar 2022

My kids’ grandparents offered to pay to exclude my disabled child from their party

Laura Grainger

Disgraceful behaviour.

A mum has expressed her disgust after her estranged in-laws invited two of her children to a party they were hosting – but said they’d pay for her disabled child to stay behind.

Taking to Mumsnet to express her anger at the situation, the mum-of-three wanted to know if she was overreacting in feeling “hurt and upset”.

In a post on the forum, the mum wrote: “My DCs (darling children’s) paternal grandparents haven’t seen or spoken to my DCs for over two years, the GPs (grandparents) choice. They stopped sending Christmas cards and birthday cards and have had no contact whatsoever in the last two years. They like to tell people it’s my fault and I stopped contact but this is not true.”

Despite their lack of contact in recent years, the grandparents randomly reached out to invite two of their grandkids to a party that their other grandchildren would be attending.

“At the weekend I got a text message from them saying they were holding a party in a couple of weeks time and their grandchildren from another country would be attending,” the mum continued. “In the text they said two of my children are welcome to attend and they would give cash to my other DC who is disabled not to attend.”

The shocking offer came out of the blue without even showing an interest in seeing the three children beyond the party.

“Am I overreacting to be disgusted by this? Not only are they paying one of my DC to stay away, there is also no mention of seeing any of my DC at any other time apart from to make them look like good grandparents at their party,” the mum added.

“I’m so unbelievably hurt and upset by this that I can’t think straight at the moment.”

Fellow mums quickly showed their support for the mum and said she was well within her rights to be outraged.

“Jesus effing Christ what truly awful people. I would ignore their invitation, and indeed them from now on. Disgusting behaviour,” one responded.

“I honestly wouldn’t waste another moment on these horrendous people. Block all methods of contact, and never give these low lives a second thought,” another agreed.

The original mum responded to some comments with further information, saying that she has yet to reply as she “cannot find enough hateful words to say to them”.

“There is a court order in place that my DC are to have no direct contact with their father so they are all expecting me to break the court order to make them look good in front of their friends,” she wrote, which angered fellow forum users even more.

“F**k that. Sounds like you are well shot of them all,” one commenter wrote.

Another added: “‘None of the DC will be attending on X date. As you are aware, there is a court order in place.’ Just be really factual. Don’t give them any ammunition. A**eholes.”

With family like that, who needs enemies?