Search icon

Family dynamics

29th May 2019

Mums who adore their own families… but dislike other children: 5 signs you’ll recognise

Let's get real...

Gillian Fitzpatrick

If you’re a mum, chances are you’re pretty besotted with your little one/ones.

That fascination and unending love just comes with the territory and is usually there from the moment they’re born.

However, just because your little angels are perfection personified, that doesn’t mean that you automatically and overnight adore all children.

Indeed plenty of great mums would happily admit that that their maternal instincts don’t apply to anyone other than their own offspring: a survey carried out by the Telegraph in 2016 found an incredible 91 percent of respondents believe it’s OK to dislike someone else’s children.

Here are the five signs you’ll recognise if you’re a mum who adores their own family… but can’t tolerate other children:

1) You can’t truly fake it

Jeanne from reception brandishing (another) mediocre video of her toddler at play. John from accounts sharing his children’s Saturday afternoon in the playground. Sarah-you-don’t-actually-know-what her-job-is showing you her three-year-old’s ‘graduation’ pictures (it’s not a real graduation, Sarah). In short, you didn’t care before you had kids; you don’t care now… and yes, it can be tough to smile and laugh through it all.

2) You count your blessings

You feel happy and blessed to have your own kids – and repeatedly you feel quietly smug too at the little horrors you witness in supermarkets, cinemas, and playgrounds. You’re a pretty decent parent, and your family are (most of the time) pretty angelic… all you can say is Phew! Lucky escape…

3) Playdates are tough going

Largely because you’re never gonna love ALL of your children’s friends without exception, and also because they involve entertaining more children than usual: yes, playdates can be tough going. That and you have to be endlessly polite to someone else’s sprog… when in reality you might want to inform them they’re being unreasonable.

4) You realise you’re impatient

You’re successful in life professionally and personally. You think of yourself as being reasonably smart. You can get by on minimum sleep if required. All-in-all, and although far from perfect, you’re doing OK. And then the testing child of another human arrives into your life and suddenly you have core life questions… like why can’t you be more patient and tolerant? They. Will. Test. You.

5) You accept your fate

Being expected to adore every child, from second-cousins to occasional playmates, that you encounter is unrealistic. Children are wonderful and enrich lives – but within the context of busy, demanding lives, trying to parent smallies other than your own isn’t for everyone. Accept your fate!