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Family dynamics

22nd Jun 2018

Pregnant woman asks for advice on bringing her mother-in-law along to first scan

Olivia Hayes

We can understand why she would not want her mother-in-law to go along…

A woman has taken to Mumsnet to ask advice on her mother-in-law coming to her baby scan.

In the post, she reveals that it’s still early days and she wants the moment to be just between her and her husband, however her husband is insisting that both his and her mother attend.

“So yesterday my partner said “I said mum could come to the scan.” and my immediate reaction was to say “no she isn’t!’. I just wanted it to be OUR moment you know?

“Now I’ve thought about it a bit, I don’t mind them coming to it but I am a bit meh about the whole sharing EVERYTHING with the mums thing – I mean I love them both to bits obviously but they are going to be (and already are) overwhelming throughout so I want SOME memories to be just ours, does that make sense? Is this my hormones making me a cow?”

She then asked fellow mums for advice, and it was overwhelmingly in her favour.

One said:

“I wouldn’t have wanted mums there – it’s a special moment (and the possible bad news angle as others have mentioned). How about suggesting you book a 3D scan for later on as a special “for the mums” one? Sell it to them as you all get to see what the baby actually looks like for the first time?”

While another remarked:

“Why do they want to be there? Exactly what are they expecting to see? I’m sorry I’m insanely close to my own mother and even I think it’s odd.”

However, one thought it’s her husband that needs to sort it:

“Your partner really should have known better than to agree with this, he’s made the mistake though so he needs to sort it.”

What do you think, mama?