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Family dynamics

27th Apr 2018

Is it ever OK to go behind your child’s father’s back?

A mum has sparked a debate online.

Anna O'Rourke

Is it ever OK to go behind your child's father's back?

Things aren’t always black and white.

One mum is asking whether she should let her young daughter get her ears pierced even though the girl’s father is against it.

The woman wrote on parenting forum Mumsnet that the child, who is four, has been asking to have them done and that she doesn’t have an issue with it.

Her ex, however, doesn’t like the idea.

“Her dad is saying no not until she is much older, he sees her once a fortnight and school holidays but is involved,” the woman explained.

“When we were together, he was all for DD3 (dear daughter number three) getting hers done at four years old because DD3 wanted them and her dad wasn’t involved.

“(My ex) came with us and couldn’t understand why people have an issue with it. He was stepdad to the older 3 and we had DD4 together.

“She (the four-year-old) has been going on regularly for a year and if she wants them I don’t see the problem, it’s a pair of ear studs not a nose ring.

“I’d like to take her in the summer holidays when she is five but he says no.”

Is it ever OK to go behind your child's father's back?

The parents on Mumsnet were divided over whether the mum should go behind her ex’s back and pierce her daughter’s ears or come to an agreement with him.

“Sounds like a power thing to me tbh, just let your DD have them done if it’ll make her happy.”

“He is just powered tripping. Just get them done.”

“Opinions change. He’s entitled to that. You both need to be in agreement on body modification

“I wouldn’t go against her father’s wishes.”

Some others, meanwhile, argued that young kids shouldn’t pierce their ears at all.

“Personally I think pierced ears on a child that young looks common… but that’s only my opinion.

“I think doing that to such small children is horrible, so I agree with him that you shouldn’t.”

Where do you stand on going behind a partner or ex partner’s back when it come stop their child? Let us know on Facebook or Twitter.