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Food

29th May 2017

7 foods that constitute a meal when there’s a new-born in the house

HerFamily

There is only one person whose nutrition matters in your house right now, and that’s the baby.

Breast or bottle, feeding takes centre stage. You’re lucky to get anything into you at all, which makes for some fairly weird meal choices. Here are some of the tried and tested quickies for hungry mamas.

  1. A stalwart food for any occasion; beloved of students, folk just back from the pub, and mothers everywhere. The box says they’re fortified with iron and vitamins- that’ll do you. Add cream and sugar for a positively gourmet experience.
  2. It’s fast; it’s warm, and it kinda cooks itself. Cutting the crusts off goes some way to assuaging your ‘no white carbs’ rule. It’s really tasty with butter and honey. Or jam. Or Nutella.
  3. Those funny square ham and cheese things from the hot counter at the garage. God knows how long they’ve been sitting there, but they smell nice.
  4. Slices of any cold meat eaten directly from the packet whilst standing on front of an open fridge. Don’t read the ingredients and whatever you do, don’t google ‘nitrates’.
  5. Microwavable popcorn. There is not a microwave on the planet that can get the timing right, so resign yourself to burning it or being left with loads of unexploded kernels, which you’ll probably eat anyway.
  6. You created; housed and gave birth to an actual human; you can have a Mars Bar for lunch if you bloody want to.
  7. Leftovers for breakfast – surprisingly delicious, although rice grows invisible fungus overnight so chuck it. Hint: all Italian food is actually better the next morning.

After a while you’ll learn to accept invitations to houses you might have avoided before now, like the in-laws. Small talk is an acceptable price to pay for meat and two veg. When you are a new mother, the absolute best meal is one that has been cooked by somebody else.