They’ve been married for 11 years.
A mum has turned to the internet for advice after becoming “fed up” of the fact that her husband cannot accept her past before him.
She explained that the pair have been together for 15 years, married for 11, and have two children together.
She said that, over the years, her husband had “never come to peace” with the fact that she had a life before him.
She wrote on Mumsnet:
“[I’m] married a long time and growing weary.
“I’m pretty resilient, hard working, independently wealthy – and my husband has never come to peace with the fact I’ve had sex and been in love before him.
“He’ll call me a a slag if it comes up between us, or someone else referring to it in public.”
She went on to explain her history, adding that she was “talking about a girl from 16-23 who slept with maybe 10-15 guys and experienced things, but nothing terribly interesting”.
She said that since they met, there has been nobody else emotionally or physically: only him.
She continued:
“I’m saddened, upset and fed up – but divorce like this is complex difficult and full of hurt as my husband presenting me as a slag to my children is hard to counteract.
“Financially coping when your stretched together apart is frightening when you are the breadwinner so to get access sto support you have to work more hour.
“I already do 60 a week and [I’m] shattered. I’m so lost and confused.
“I’m fed up of being called a slag.”
The commenters were quick to offer the mum support, with some sharing their own stories of similar situations.
One mum wrote:
“Are you me?! My husband found my past incredibly difficult to accept, but my past made me and that’s who he fell in love with. It caused endless arguments in the first year of living together, but once we married, it stopped, so I’m not sure how to advise you.
“He needs to never bring this up in front of the children and to stop bringing up something he can’t change. Has he had therapy? It seems very extreme for him to still be talking about this. Do you have sex with him?
“I told my husband that I was with him, I wouldn’t be unfaithful, he needed to get over himself and that I could not change the past. If he continues (how have you managed to tolerate this for so long?!) he will push you away, sounds like he’s tried really hard!
“You are not a slag, you were young, free and single. There is no reason why you should have lived like a nun at that age. Presumably, you were faithful once you met him, so what is his problem?”
Another person added:
“That’s disgusting. You’re his wife, he shouldn’t call you a slag or make you feel bad.”
Someone else commented:
“Next time he brings this up, tell him in no uncertain terms that you “used to be a bit of a party girl, but he is being a bully, and still is, if he ever mentions this again, you will leave him as 15 years of bullying is unacceptable behaviour “
A different person said:
“”He would call me this…ONCE. Then he would be gone forever”
