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04th Sep 2018

Mum ‘torn’ over wanting her son with her every Christmas

Olivia Hayes

It can be difficult.

If you have split up from your partner it can be difficult when it comes to special occasions. While you both want them in your presence on the day, you know you have to split it evenly.

That’s this mum’s problem. She took to Mumsnet to ask if she’s being unreasonable to want to have every Christmas with her son.

She wrote:

“Genuinely torn about this. I have a 5 year old son and a 1 year old daughter. My son is from a previous relationship, and sees his dad consistently every other weekend, more in the holidays. They have a lovely relationship, and my son adores going to see his dad.

“For the first couple of Christmases, we split the actual day. I decided last year to stop that, as I felt it made the day too bitty, and my son also received two full Christmas present hauls in one day, which was just too overwhelming for him.

“I strongly feel that it is better for him to spend the whole of Christmas Day in one place- but I don’t want it be anywhere other than with me. I hate the thought of splitting him up from his little sister, and flat out can’t imagine Christmas Eve or morning without him.”

Many mums responded saying that she was being unreasonable, and if he’s a present, caring father, she should split the day or alternate.

One mum said:

“There’s a lot about your feelings but not a lot about your son’s. If he’s overwhelmed by the amount of presents, agree between you to give him less. Denying him the opportunity to ever have Christmas Day with a father he ‘adores’ because you can’t imagine Christmas without him doesn’t seem very fair.”

While another wrote:

“Tbh OP it sounds more like it’s about what you want not what your son wants. You say he enjoys seeing his dad? So alternate Christmases.”

What would you do in this situation?