These are gas.
Comedian James Breakwell has us in stitches as he recounts and tweets out all the hilarious conversations he has with his kids.
His account XplodingUnicorn, is filled with priceless moments between him and his four daughters all under the age of seven-years-old, now THAT’S a handful.
Tweeting the girls hilarious one liners and funny interactions between his wife and kids, James certainly knows how to see the funny side to all their puzzling questions.
We love it and if your like me – you will realise that you can practically relate to ALL of them.
[listening to the GPS voice in the car]
5-year-old: How does she know where to go?
7-year-old: Women always know.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) January 7, 2018
5-year-old: Is it still winter?
Me: Yes.
5: All day?
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) January 6, 2018
3-year-old: I like Mom best.
Me: Why?
3: She buys us food.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) January 5, 2018
Relatable as ever…
Top reasons my 2-year-old walks over to see me:
3) She loves me.
2) She thinks I’m fun to be around.
1) She just pooped.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) January 4, 2018
5-year-old: *heading out with Mom* Dad?
Me: Yeah?
5: Watch my Tamagotchi.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) January 2, 2018
Me: *feeling manly* I jumped the car battery.
Wife: You also killed it in the first place.
Me: Irrelevant.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) January 2, 2018
My kids are peacefully playing Legos together.
Just kidding.
They’ve had at least four fights and one of them might have swallowed a brick.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) January 1, 2018
7-year-old: *runs through the house kicking things*
Me: What are you playing?
7: Run kick.
Is Christmas break over yet?
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) December 29, 2017
Kids: *fight over the same toy*
Me: You just got dozens of new toys. Play with something else.
Kids: *fight over different toys*
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) December 28, 2017
5-year-old: Look how much food I ate!
Me: Wow. That’s great.
5: I’ll be big and fat like you.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) December 25, 2017
By the way my wife screamed, I thought someone had been murdered.
Turns out my 2-year-old cut her own hair.
So it was much worse.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) December 23, 2017
Wife: *gift wraps a bottle of wine*
Me: Who’s that for?
Wife: Me.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) December 19, 2017
5-year-old: I’m hungry.
Me: You’re in luck. There’s food on the plate in front of you.
5: I’m hungry for food that’s not this.
Me: Bad luck. You’re going to starve.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) December 17, 2017
Most definitely our latest favourite Twitter account. You can follow James and check out his hilarious daily ramblings here.
