10 terrifying ways your toddler is like the worst boss you'll ever have
We've all had terrible bosses at one time or another but most of us get to leave the boss at work.
Having a toddler is like living with a tyrannical, micro-managing boss ALL the time.
With that in mind, here are ten ways that a toddler is exactly like the worst boss you've ever worked with...
1. The Micro-managing is off the charts
Seriously, ever cut the toddler's toast wrong – of course you have.
2. You get performance reviews virtually every hour
And they are never positive. And the criticism is never constructive.
3. They will give you the worst dressing downs of your life
Always in public too.
4. You cannot reason with them
Any attempts to do so will likely result in disciplinary action aka SHOUTING!
5. Any disobedience (on our part) will result in a totally disproportionate reaction
Seriously, ever do something ANYTHING right in the eyes of a bad boss or a toddler? Us neither...
6. The mind games are fairly freakin' torturous
Ever have one of those terrifying bosses who you never knew where you stood with them and your every move could be met with either admiration or rage? Yeah, that's just toddlers all day every goddamn day.
7. Both bad bosses and toddlers expect a high level of mind-reading from their employees
Ahem, I mean, mothers of course. If you are not anticipating their every demand, what the hell are you doing with your life?
8. The Clock-watching is out of control
You have exactly 4 seconds to empty your bladder with a toddler around before they're in on top of you demanding something. A bad boss is unlikely to barge into the loo though and obviously, if they did, we'd have grounds for a case in the labour courts.
9. The bad boss acts totally normal around other people, thus causing you to actually question your own sanity: "Maybe I'm just imagining how bad he is?"
Toddlers pull this all the time too. Those crafty devils.
10. You never stop striving for their approval
It's a toxic co-dependent kind of relationship. The more aggro a boss is the more we desperately seek their approval and the exact same can be said for the adorable mini-dictators who dominate our lives.