Pre-parenthood, my bar for unwinding was set way WAY higher.
Back then I might have had a bath or gone for a massage or taken a nap or enjoyed six hours of uninterrupted me-time and still I could probably be found complaining to someone about how “stressed” I was.
Now, post-toddler, I find myself looking forward to activities I previously dreaded mainly because there’s a pretty high probability of not having to wipe someone else’s arse during something like a routine root canal. Previously boring activities have taken on a new shine and become instantly more appealing because when you’re doing daily battle with a toddler, just going to the supermarket unaccompanied can feel like a holiday.
10 things I find SUPER relaxing now that I have a toddler:
1. Going to the dentist
A lovely hour to myself to lie down and think my thoughts (as someone drills my gums and keeps accidentally catching my tongue in the suctiony thing while I drool uncontrollably).
2. Commuting
Sitting in traffic is like a little pocket of Zen me-time compared to trying to get The Child’s exacting breakfast order correct. Must be careful not to zone out too much though…
3. Lying down starring at the wall
Have I reached nirvana?
4. A small human jumping on me while I lie down
It’s amazing how if I close my eyes and shove my face down into the pillow, I can make myself believe that I’m actually receiving a really vigorous, full body massage.
5. Any moment that I am not wiping another person’s arse
Bliss.
6. Standing in queues (on my own)
Heaven. I’d just go from random queue to random queue if I had my way.
7. Having a smear test
A nice opportunity to put the feet up.
8. Getting the car NCT’d
Unless of course, you are getting the car NCT’d WITH the toddler in tow, in which case this activity would be more at home on a list like ’10 Things to do With a Toddler in Tow That’ll Make Time Slow Down and Every Second Feel Like an Eternity’. Other things on this hypothetical list could include; filling out tax forms with your toddler in tow and getting your nails done with toddler in tow.
9. Hiding in the jacks
Every parent hides in the jacks from time to time, right? Some Sundays feel like an endless game of “You’re It” as The Man and I take turns to hide in the loo while the other tries in vain to fend off the mental toddler while shouting up the stairs at the closed bathroom door “there’s no way you’re taking another piss, I know you’re hiding in there.”
10. Going to the gym
Pre-toddler I used to HATE going to the gym, now it’s this huge treat. It’s my best shot at me-time and The Man couldn’t think of anything worse than exercising, so he doesn’t begrudge me the gym. He thinks it’s some kind of hardship. Win-win.
