Despite being a fully fledged adult in my 30s, complete with two children, a husband, a career, a full set of matching dinnerware and life insurance, I still conduct most of my online communications solely in emojis.
This, of course, is a combination of being time-starved (look, consider yourself lucky if I at least manage to reply with a little kissy-face emoji to your text messages, people – it if weren’t for these, you might have to endure months without any life-sign from this mum, as typing out actual words just take too damn long).
And also; sometimes emojis just say it better.
In a world of busy, busy, busy, that little heart-eye-smiley-face or embarrased monkey covering our eyes can easily convey all your emotions, with just the press of a key.
However; I constantly find myself needing some very spesefic-to-motherhood emojis that just would be so perfect in explaining certain situations and parenting debacles – but that just haven’t been invented yet. So I have taken the liberty of creating a little list of 17 different emojis that someone seriously need to make happen soon – us mamas could really do with the following:
1. Sleeping baby
Mother-in-law trying to call you again? Shhhhh… sleeping baby!
2. Screaming baby
Again, a handy one for when you can’t answer your phone, this time because your offspring is howling too loudly for any conversation to be had. Note: Can also mean: GET HERE AS FAST AS YOU CAN. I need back up!
2 Glass(es) of wine
Look, we know this emoji already exists, but sometimes the one glass doesn’t really explain that we intending to finish off the whole bottle…
3. Dirty nappy
Can’t talk, literally poop everywhere.
4. Poosplosion (pooh up back)
There are no words. But there could be emojis.
5. Top-knot mum
Didn’t have time to wash my hair – again.
6. Monster mum
Not having my finest day being a parent today…
7. Washing machine
Can’t talk, doing laundry (again)
8. Bed
Meaning ‘early night’ (or, if paired with man-face or shamrock emoji, could also mean (to husband): “You might just get lucky tonight!”
9. Tantrum
Red-faced-child-on-floor-with-fists-raised-and-tears-streaming-from-eyes emoji.
10. Blond-lady-holding-snowflake
We need this little Elsa emoji for when we need to either explain we are watching Frozen (again!) or for when you just want to tell someone to LET IT GO.
11. Starbucks
This would come in so freakin’ handy if we are trying to arrenge to meet up with our mum squad.
12. Venti latte
That little coffee emoji simply isn’t enough on those days when we need to explain how we need ALL the coffee that day.
13. Gin
Jeezes, how are we even living without this one?
14. Smoothie bowl
“Running five minutes late, just whipping up a ‘insert SMOOTHIE BOWL EMOJI here.’
15. Throwing up
This emoji would be so perfect for conveying either one of your kids just puking on you –OR when someone has just said or done something seriously cheesy – and you literally feel like PUKING.
16. Hungover
We NEED a face wearing sungalsses and looking a little green-ish.
17. Wonder Woman
To send to all your mama friends to remind them just how AMAZING they are.