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Parenting

28th Apr 2020

43 typical mum phrases you swore you’d never say (but totally will)

Trine Jensen-Burke

Becoming a mum is truly the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me, and it has changed me in so many ways.

One of these ways being how I seem to slowly but surely turn into my own mother. It’s a sneaky kind of a transition where you, in the space of a couple of years, go from being cool urban career-girl to suddenly finding yourself in the position that when you open your mouth, your mum – and all her classic mum-isms – come out.

Not sure what I am on about? Well, take a look at these 42 very mum-ish things to say below, and tell us you have not heard yourself utter at least one of them yet:

(And if not, don’t worry, it’s coming!)

1. All I do is follow you around, picking up after you like some maid.
2. Am I talking to a brick wall?
3. Are you deaf or something?
4. Are you lying to me?
5. As long as you live under my roof, you’ll do as I say.
7. Beds are NOT made for jumping on.
6. Call me when you get there, just so I know you’re okay.
7. Did you brush your teeth?
8. Do you think I’m made of money?
9. Do you think your socks are going to pick themselves up?
10. Don’t go out with a wet head, you’ll catch cold.
11. Don’t make me get up!
12. Don’t sit too close to the television, it’ll ruin your eyes.
13. Don’t talk with your mouth full!
14. How do you know you don’t like it if you haven’t tasted it?
15. I don’t care what “everyone” is doing. I care what YOU are doing!
16. I just want what’s best for you.
17. If you’re too sick to go to school, you’re too sick to play outside.
18. I’m not going to ask you again.
19. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s that I don’t trust everyone else.
20. Money does NOT grow on trees.
21. NO!
22. Pick that up before somebody trips on it and breaks their neck!
23. Put that down! You don’t know where it’s been!
24. What did I say the FIRST time?
25. What part of NO don’t you understand?
26. When I was a little girl…
27. Be good.
28. Bored! How can you be bored? I was never bored at your age.
29. Do you think this is a hotel?
30. Don’t ask me WHY. The answer is NO.
31. Don’t run with a lollipop in your mouth.
32. Don’t you have anything better to do?
33. I don’t care who started it, I said stop!
34. I don’t care who started it, YOU stop it!
82. If I catch you doing that one more time, I’ll…
35. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.
36. You can’t judge a book by its cover.
37. If you’re too full to finish your dinner, you’re too full for dessert.
38. Is your homework finished?
39. It’s no use crying over spilt milk.
40. Think of those poor starving children in India… (or China, or Africa.)
41. I’m going to give you until the count of three…42. Go to your room and think about what you did!