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Parenting

08th Jun 2019

5 simple ways to raise really grateful and selfless kids

Hint: It is actually easier than you think.

Trine Jensen-Burke

I find it hard sometimes to walk the line between wanting to give my children what they wish and ask for (within reason!) and still holding back enough so that they learn to appreciate and be grateful for what they have, instead of just keep adding to the “I want…” list.

Something which often proves an even grater challenge when school is out.

Teaching children to be grateful for what they have can be hard work!  But while wanting to treat our children is only natural, ensuring that they are not spoiled is also a parent’s job. And an important one at that. Because gratitude goes beyond just expressing being thankful for something. A recent study, conducted at the University of California, found that children (and adults too) who count their blessings regularly reap concrete benefits, including greater life satisfaction, better self-esteem and a better attitude about school. Not bad for being thankful!

Dr. Robert A. Emmons, who conducted the American study, reveals that gratitude benefits us on so many levels, and found that people who are grateful increase their happiness levels by 25 percent compared to those who reported feeling less grateful with what they had. So if you want your children to live happy, grateful lives, here are five great ways to start:

1. Do as you teach

Let your children witness how you are thankful for the things and people and good that comes into your life. Let them see – and help you with – writing thank-you notes, and help them write their own after receiving birthday presents or other gifts. Children are like sponges, what they grow up seeing you do, they will more than likely end up doing too.

2. Play the gratitude game

Children are, after all, children, so the more you can manage to make something fun and interesting, the more likely it is that they will enjoy doing it. It is easy peasy to turn even showing gratitude into a game – just try it in the car or at the dinner table and make everyone pick a thing beginning with a certain letter of the alphabet that you are grateful for. By turning it into a game, you are allowing your children to learn about all the things they can be grateful for while not making it too serious.

3. Write lists

Ending the day with taking account of all the good things we have in our lives is a great way to remember to be grateful. Doing it yourself has proven to be very therapeutic, and having your children pick up the good habit will (hopefully) ensure that they grow into people more concerned with being happy for all they have, instead of always (miserably) longing for more. While older children will be able to write their lists with words, it might be a great idea to have younger children draw what they are feeling grateful for.

4. Start simple

“Please” and “thank you” really are magic words, and teaching your children to use them will ensure that they practice being grateful every day. Even if it is only thanking someone for passing them a plate of bread or dropping them home from ballet practice.

5. Volunteer, donate and help out

It is important for children to see how you react to people who are less fortunate. For your smaller children, try talking about how there are some children who have very few toys and not enough clothes to stay warm, and how we can help them by giving away some of our stuff (that they no longer wear/play with). Let them help you decide what they want to part with, and talk about why you are doing this and watch them feel good about themselves.

How do YOU make sure your children are grateful and avoid them being spoiled? Join in the conversation with us on Twitter at @Herfamilydotie