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Parenting

25th Mar 2019

Five reasons I don’t feel guilty to be back at work

Sharyn Hayden

Having recently just gotten back to work, I have to admit: I am in my ELEMENT.

Sure, there is a lot to organise now that I’m gone three days a week, between the kids and the house and the dog and the feckin ironing that seems to have quadrupled since I started back.

But the upside is: I got a new job! Woohoo!

Delighted

While there has been a lot of adjustment for the family, the one change that I have been personally waiting for hasn’t kicked in yet: I’m not feeling those Mammy Guilts. I honestly thought I would feel terrible by now that my kids are being minded by someone else, or sad that I’m missing out on being around for them, to deal with all their spills and snots and bum-wiping needs. But (eek) I totally don’t.

Is there something wrong with me, I wonder? Has my motherly instinct been temporarily damaged with the promise of regular work and three-day-a-week adult company? I dunno, I have to say – everything feels exactly as it should be.

1. The kids are alright

I think my kids might be happier now that I’m gone a few days a week; in the short-term, they have a better mum in the sense that I feel SO happy to see them in the evenings and the days in between work, that they get the best of me. In the long term, there is more money coming into the house to pay for all the things they will undoubtedly need so our family has more financial security. Ultimately, I hope they will respect that I am a cool mum who also has a cool job and give me the thumbs up for figuring out how to do both.

excited_kid

2. Our childminder is awesome

We really lucked out on this one and found someone who not only worked in a creche, but who is currently studying to be a primary school teacher so a) she has flexible working hours, b) she’s young so she has great energy to bring the kids to the playground, playcentre and generally have the craic with them and (bonus round) c) she actually really likes children. My son is always really happy to hear that she’s coming to ‘hang out’ with him and therefore doesn’t give me a hard time when I’m trying to leave the house. That kind of reassurance is priceless.

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3. Pearl the dog’s life has improved tenfold

Our little Westie Pearl fecked off on us for an entire day last month. I was totally distraught and had everyone out looking for her until she eventually rocked back up home by herself. I have interpreted this as general canine discontent at her lot in our house; whereby she used to be Baby Number 1, she now has to contend with a toddler and a baby who try to show their affection by trying to feed her blocks of Lego. Between that little ‘outburst’ and me working, she is now getting the V.I.P treatment that she was so clearly missing. We’re talking ham bones, more than one ten minute walk around the block every two days, lots of cuddles and even a fancy new collar. The lucky bitch.

Get me a new family, would ya?!-2

4. Our house has never been so clean

I know, I know, the housework is sooo borrring, but when I worked from home, we would leave everything on the long finger, because we knew I would get to it at some point the next day. We’re talking dinner dishes left on the kitchen table, laundry in piles all over the radiators, in baskets, on beds. We had a general air of ‘sure we’ll get to it’ because there was no immediate hurry. Now that we have the kids minded at home, we are (finally) getting on top of being organised. There is something resembling a clean kitchen when we wake up in the mornings now – it’s a flippin’ miracle!

Housework minnion

5. I’m happy

Would I like to go for a work meeting in a coffee shop-slash-art gallery after lunch? Yes. Would I like to attend an event at a local shopping centre which also houses all my favourite shops and tell Ass Monkey that I have to do it for work? Yes. Would I like to drive to work and listen to the radio and drink my coffee and let my mind just BE for an hour there and back? Yes, yes, yes. A change is as good as a rest. And it might be a bit of an effort to get to leave the house for three full days per week but for me, it is SO worth it.

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