Becoming a new mum is hands-down the most amazing experience you will ever have.
It’s beyond rewarding and the love you feel although such a cliché, really is like no other. But, in the early days with a newborn or ‘in the trenches’ as it’s commonly called, it can be hard. Like, really hard.
And although you’re wrapped up in this bubble of love, you’re sleep deprived, hormonal and trying to learn a job with no real job description or rulebook.
Added to this, the contentious things people say to first-time mums – always with the best intentions – are not always best received. So, if you’re not a parent yet, or can’t remember what it’s like to be a first-time mum, choose your words carefully. It’s kinder.
We’ve talked to mums up-and-down the country to bring you a tightly edited list of things NEVER to say to a new mum:
1.“You look wrecked”
Seriously? Wow, you’ve enlightened me. And made my day and this job, which, by the way, is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, so much easier. Sleep deprivation isn’t pretty, you know.
2. “Sleep when the baby sleeps”
I sure will. If I can just go to the toilet, grab a morsel to eat and sterilise the bottles first. Cue, baby wakes just as you’re collapsing into bed for that elusive nap.
3. “Oh, the baby must be hungry, she’s roaring?”
Yes, yes, I must have forgotten to feed the baby. Oh dear, silly me.
4. “These are the best months, cherish them”
What? It gets worse? That’s just what I needed to hear as I enter the fourth night of not sleeping, I can’t sit down, I haven’t gone to the toilet in what must be days, and I have to go and pump my breasts like a cow.
5. “I assume you’re breastfeeding?”
Big no-no. Huge. In fact, pretty likely to reduce any woman to tears. It’s the most contentious issue to most new mums. Chances are they’re finding it bloody hard, unless they’re in a very small minority that take to it with ease with no chaffing, cuts, bruises or bleeding. Probably best not to ask.
6. “Mine all slept through the night from the very start”
Lies. All lies.
Got any clangers people said to you when you became a new mum? Let us know your thoughts in the Facebook comments.
