I had a pretty cool childhood.
We lived in a really safe neighbourhood with a nearby beach and almost every family that lived in our estate had kids who were the same ages as my three brothers and I.
I’m sure that this CAN’T be true, but I never remember it raining when I was a little kid, the sun always seemed to shine (except that one time when my dad took us camping to Bettystown!).
My parents are amazing people who treated us with love, gave us a comfortable home to grow up in, took us on little summer holidays to Co. Wexford and then abroad later on when the money was there.
We didn’t want for anything.
But their parenting style and skills were of a different time. They raised us in the 70’s and 80’s – pre-internet, pre-‘touchy-feely’ parenting, pre-major moves towards equality in Ireland, pre-Catholic church meltdown and pre-healthier living.
My parents did their best with the requisite skills they were given to work with and I love them for what they gave us.
But here are 8 thing that I’m doing differently as a parent:
1. Letting Toys Be Toys
I was a total tomboy as a kid who was gifted a huge Barbie gym as a birthday present that probably set my parents back a lot of money. I hated it and it was shoved into a wardrobe until it finally went to a more Barbie-inclined type girl. My parents must have known that I wouldn’t have been into it so why waste their hard-earned cash? I’m letting my kids lead the way when it comes to choosing who they want to be and what they choose to play with. Currently, my almost two-year-old daughter is a huge Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fan and that’s ok by me.
2. Supervised Play
I know that I will get to this eventually, but my almost five-year-old son currently doesn’t get to go out and play in the estate without us. We go out on big walks together or we have his friends over to play in our house, but I don’t trust him or the world to be out there alone just yet. I’m sure my parents had us all chucked out the door at five but the area was completely different then – it wasn’t so built up and there weren’t so many cars bombing around the place.
3. Body Wise
I don’t know if it was embarrassment or ‘just the done thing’ but I didn’t really get any guidance from my parents about puberty and I certainly didn’t get any sex education! I think it’s so important to teach our boy and girl all of the facts – as well as the emotions involved – at age appropriate times in their lives. Also, I REALLY want them to love and not be ashamed of their bodies.
4. Equality
My dad is still pretty old school when it comes to his sexist attitude. We still argue about it but at this point, I sort of feel like the essence of it is so ingrained in him that there is little point. I want my kids to grow up with a healthy, equal respect for all good and worthy human beings, regardless of their gender or sexuality.
5. Protection
My parents were definitely protective when it came to bullying in the school yard or on the sports pitch, but they would always stay quiet ‘to keep the peace’ if a family member was rude or inappropriate to us as kids. I will SO not be keeping the peace for anyone’s sake – my kids are my priority and that’s the end of that.
6. Open Communication
It was very hard to talk about your ‘feelings’ in Ireland in the 70s, 80s, 90’s and still sometimes today. My parents didn’t always seem emotionally equipped to handle major upsets or meltdowns and so ultimately, I just stopped bringing problems to them and working them out myself. I really want my kids to feel confident that they can come and speak to me about everything and anything that they need to.
7. Healthy Living
My dad was actually great at getting us involved with growing veg in the back garden that we would then ultimately cook and eat. But the convenience food culture of the last few decades is thankfully changing, with families much more likely to cook their own nutritionally valuable food for their families. We all still have big changes to make and by all means aren’t always perfect about it, but the freezer is mostly free of Findus Crispy Pancakes! (It just has ice cream in it instead!)
8. Inclusion
The days of ‘Children Should Be Seen And Not Heard’ are fading away into the past. My kids might drive me totally bananas on any given week but I do like having them with us all of the time. We of course get our breaks from them when we need it (and they need it!) but I don’t like leaving them for too long. The notion that children are a bit of an inconvenience should stay in the past where it belongs!
In what way do you parent differently from the way you were raised? Let us know in the comments on Facebook.
