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Parenting

27th Sep 2021

Mother knows best : Are we all destined to turn into our own mothers?

Melissa Carton

What do you think?

It’s the age old question… do we all eventually turn into our mothers?

One mum put the question to Mumsnet after her daughter exclaimed that she was turning into her and caused quite a stir when it came to responses.

She wrote;

“Daughter 18 is in the kitchen washing pots. I’ve just overheard her say to herself “where do all the knives go in this house? Oh shit, I’m turning into my mother!”

Well excuse me but she should be so lucky to turn into me

As I get older I definitely channel my own mum more and more. Is it destiny?”

The question caused a bit of debate with some commenters being more than happy to be told they were becoming more like their mums and others horrified at the thought;

“I totally have become much more like her since becoming a mother myself but I’m ok with it as I think she is a very good mum.”

“I hope not. My mother is a terrible martyr & stayed with our alcoholic father for many years because she couldn’t bear the shame of people finding out.”

“My mum isn’t perfect but honestly, I’d be privileged to turn into her.
She’s unfailingly generous and kind hearted. She’s also smart and driven.
It’s only since becoming a mother myself that I really appreciate her, I’d have been horrified at the thought as a teenager.”

“Christ I hope not!Narrow minded, bigoted, unloving and judgemental are a few of her better qualities. I moved 2000 miles away 15 years ago and she is still confused about why we aren’t close.”

I don’t know about turning into my mother as we have very different personalities, but I have been compared to my grandmother several times.

Even my daughter who is only four years old is constantly being compared to me, not just because we look quite alike but because she already has my mannerisms. She’s even started trying to write in a little unicorn notebook that I bought her because she sees me keeping a journal.

So is it just something that we can’t avoid or do other people see our mothers in us when it’s really not the case?

What do you think? Do you think that you’re turning into your mother or that your daughter is turning into you?