Helen Steele, the artist, fashion designer and mum-of-three chats to us about what motherhood means to her, and all the nuggets of wisdom she has learned along the way.
In conversation with Helen:
1. “They are only small for so long, so enjoy those moments. The sleepless nights, the terrible twos all fly by, but there will come a day that sleepy morning snuggles will be no longer.
2. Worms and muck are actually not all that bad. Having small children gave me a chance to view the world through their eyes. So we got to enjoy a lot of things I would have usually taken for granted like watching clouds race across the sky on a windy day. Watching the water in puddles ripple as small feet splashed through them.
3. As a parent, you try to protect your kids from some of the more grim realities of life. However, this is not always possible. In the last four years, my kids have been exposed to some situations that are very far from ideal. I tried to protect them as much as I physically and mentally could. With some really good family counselling, they have come out the other side and are so strong. We are stronger together as a family now. I am so proud of my kids (I know all parents say this), but I really am. They are so strong. They have been through a very rough four years and have banded together and matured into incredible human beings.
4. To listen. This would not be something I am not very good at, and that topped with being in a band (in my youth) and rarely wearing ear plugs or headphones has left me with rotten hearing. But when you just let them talk and ramble (especially in the car …. no escape) it’s so good.
5. Sometimes the bulk of parental responsibility lies with the mother. Don’t get me wrong; I love being a mum. My children are the most important beings on earth to me. They are the greatest gift I have ever received. But this has been my reality. And it is regardless of how many stay-at-home-dads there may be this is the reality for ALL but one of my peers.
6. Being a mother to teen girls is heartbreaking. The pressure put upon teenage girls to be visually perfect is wrong. If you do not fit into a certain body form, you are a target for abuse. Speaking of abuse, the disgusting requests from unknown sources via text and snapchat for dirty pics is disgusting! I trust all of my children to keep very honest and open lines of communication between us so that I know what’s going on in their lives, who they are with, what kind of supervision is provided. Sometimes it’s really difficult to hear them speak honestly about what’s going on in their lives, but I want them to be able to come to me with whatever their problems might be, so I can be there to help them. I have learned that freaking out and being strict just doesn’t work for us.
7. Being a teenager in rural Ireland is difficult. There is not as much for a teen who is not into GAA to do in a small rural village. And if you are a parent with no car who has to rely on public transport then you are screwed.
8. I have learned that you have to fight for your kid’s education rights in this country. Early diagnosis is vital for children with dyspraxia or dyslexia, but you can spend years waiting for an assessment in the public system. There are no systems in place to help their specific needs especially during vital learning time in a child’s education too. It knocks the hell out of their learning confidence when they know that they are different in the class, but the schools can only do so much. The recession was a difficult time to try to get any resources, so my ex and I ended up funding an SNA ourselves. Which we were in the lucky position to do so.”
Check out Helen’s gorgeous new collections for spring, helensteele.com.
