There’s something about being a mum that makes other people want to pass comment on pretty much everything about you and your child. Don’t you think?
From the way I look to the way that I parent, I reckon I’ve pretty much heard them all now when it comes to backhanded compliments. Yes, we may be tired and hormonal, but some things are just better left unsaid when you’re dealing with (tired and hormonal) mothers. Unfortunately, some people just don’t have the self awareness (or social skills) to bear this in mind.
They may try to disguise their judgement as nothing more than an innocent (and brutally honest) remark, but there’s no getting away from the harsh sting of a backhanded compliment.
Sugarcoated insults like these are dished out way too often in my opinion – just another harsh reality of motherhood to brave with our heads held high. (As if we don’t already have enough on our plates.)
Here are some of the gems that have been hurled my way in the past 18 months…
1. “Interesting name choice! Where did you find that?”
They hate the name choice.
2. “She’s GORGEOUS! I don’t see any resemblance between her and you two.”
Awkward.
3. “She’s GORGEOUS! So like her Daddy.”
They think your baby daddy is gorgeous. But not you.
4. “You look great. Considering.”
Considering what?
5. “Oh, you look so tired.” (Ten days postpartum.)
Actually, there is nothing complimentary about this one, but I’ll throw it in there anyway.
6. “You really suited being pregnant.”
But now I look terrible?
7. “Wow! I can’t BELIEVE how good you look.”
Don’t sound so surprised.
8. “I don’t think you’ve changed THAT much since you had a baby.”
But definitely a bit. In a really, really bad way, obviously.
9. “I think it’s brilliant that you have the confidence to wear that so soon after having a baby.”
They think the hot pants are too much. Don’t listen to them. (Actually, it was just a dress, but it may as well have been hot pants.)
10. “I could never be a stay-at-home mum / working mum. I don’t know how you do it.”
Because I have to. But thanks for making me feel good about my setup.
11. “You’ve certainly got your hands full with that one!”
You think my child is awful.
12. “You’re so lucky to be able to go to work / go to the gym / get your hair done / go out with your friends.”
Cue Mother’s Guilt.
13. “I could never afford a buggy / cot / car seat / high chair like that.”
Meow.
14. “You look great for a mum.”
How are mums SUPPOSED to look?
15. “It’s great that you’re breastfeeding. It’s the BEST way to lose the baby weight.”
You could make it more obvious by pointing to my stomach and asking if there’s another one in there. Oh no wait, your husband already did that. (True story.)
16. “I love that you’re so relaxed about things now.”
What, like my appearance?
