Busy Philipps got very honest about her marriage in a recent interview.
The actress and mum recently revealed that she at one point considered divorcing her husband because she felt alone when it came to parenting.
The bubbly Dawson’s Creek star said that there were times that she feared that her marriage to husband screenwriter Marc Silverstein wouldn’t survive.
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During an interview with Harper’s Bazaar Philipps described how she was at her breaking point with her husband because she felt he wasn’t picking up the slack when it came to caring for their two daughters Cricket Pearl and Birdie Leigh.
“I was fully out the door. I wasn’t expecting anything from him, but what we ended up doing was creating our own system.
Marc was like, ‘I’ll do anything.’ And I was like, ‘Okay, then do everything. Because I have done it all, all by myself, and I’m done, dude.”
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I can completely empathise with Busy when it comes to modern day motherhood.
Even in a household where both parents work, mothers still often bare the brunt of most of the physically and emotional labour of parenthood.
It can come from a place of trying to do it all or simply because we don’t want to seem like a bad mother by not doing absolutely everything.
I know myself I’ve taken on more than I could handle because of mammy-guilt. There have been many a night I lost sleep trying to get cakes made for the bake sale at my son’s school in between looking after his little sister and getting stuff done for work.
Sometimes we don’t ask for help because we think it’s our job to do everything but other times we do ask for help and are simply ignored.
Either way, parenting falling on one parent more than the other, whichever parent that may be, is completely unfair and leads to situations which Busy describes.
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Busy went on to say that compromises were made and her marriage and family are all the better for it;
“He made the call: He should be the one to stay home with the kids. He was suddenly in charge of meal preparation, Birdie’s bedtime routine and more.
He now loves his mornings with the girls. He’ll make my Bulletproof coffee and bring it into the bedroom while I’m still sleeping, and then leave to take the kids to school. He has conversations with them that I’m jealous of. The closeness he now has with these girls, it’s really special.”
Communication is key when it comes to parenting.
I know myself I’ve fallen into the trap of assuming my husband will just know when I need a dig out when the truth is he doesn’t but if I ask out straight then he’ll help.
Most mornings I get the kids ready for school so my husband gets them ready for bed. Even when it comes to bits around the house like washing the dishes or doing the laundry we try to keep it 50/50.
Relationships and parenting are not always perfect. We’re only human but if you feel like things aren’t right, sitting down for a chat is often the best move you can make.
