This co-sleeping mum just shut down the haters in the most amazing way
Confession: Despite never really intending to or having had any feelings one way or another about it, I ended up co-sleeping with both my babies when they were babies.
And, to be honest, for many (many) nights after they stopped being babies too. Some nights because they couldn't sleep or had bad dreams, and wanted to sleep next to their mum. Other times because they were sick or because they were sad or because I simply couldn't resist the feeling of their warm and soft and sleeping bodies next to me.
To me, this is all just part and parcel of parenthood – and, to tell you the truth, a time in my life I know I will grieve when it is over.
This does not mean that I feel co-sleeping is something everyone should do – my philosophy when it comes to most things to do with parenting is simply this: Whatever suits your children and family best is the right way.
This did not stop many (many) people commenting on our co-sleeping arrangement over the years. If I had a euro for every time someone has warned me how I will never get them out of my bed now, how they will become needy, how I am making a rod for my back etc.
To which I would useually just shrug my shoulders and (behind their backs) dish out a hard eye roll or five. Seriously; what is it about parenting – and, for some reason especially sleeping arrangements – that makes everyone feel like they should give other people advice they have not asked for?
And I am not alone, for sure. When new mum Faleesha Snyder recently got fed up having to defend her decision to co-sleep with her baby daughter, she eventually took to Facebook to share her thoughts – and give the haters a piece of her mind.
The post quickly went viral, and has now been shared more than 13,000 times and gathered close to 2,000 comments.
Here is what the mum-of-one had to say:
Here is her post in full:
Something I frequently hear when the topic of co-sleeping comes up is, "You've created a monster," "Obviously she controls your house," and "Why would you let her be dependent on you like that? 24/7?"
There are two categories of people I would like to address here; Non-parents and parents.
First, non-parents: YESSSS, my baby who has never experienced any part of life other than the small world she knows because I've shown it to her is completely dependent on me. If that's a shock to you, pleaseee don't have kids for a long time. I'm 1/2 of the pair of people that are solely responsible for teaching her or making sure she learns how to survive in this world. This world that is absolutely terrifying to adults who (think) they know everything. I can't bring myself to let her cry all the while wondering why her means of comfort, love, and survival isn't coming to get her. You know when you really need someone so you call them over and over and they just don't answer? Isn't that terrible? Imagine not having the mental capacity to understand that the person you're calling for is busy?
Don't judge my parenting until you've tried it yourself.
And parents; Have you ever said, "Wow, I just cuddled and loved on my child too much. Oh how I regret spending those moments doing that?" No? I've never heard that one. But I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've heard parents say how they wished they could hold their baby one more time and smell the sweet baby smells. Every parent with a toddler with scraped knees, 5 year old who is afraid of the dark or teenager with a broken heart says "I wish I could take away their fear/pain." Wouldn't you if you could? Because right now I can. My baby isn't scared, lonely, or cold in my arms at night. She won't remember it, but for a few hours a night for a few short months, she won't have to worry about anything other than being comfortable and nursing when she wants/needs to. I don't think I'll regret giving her that.
She won't need me forever. Someday she'll sleep more than a couple hours a night in her own bed. When that times comes (hopefully) we'll both be ready. Until then, I'm here to be anything she needs me to be. Right now, she may not know it yet, but she's learning about love. I want her to have anything she needs from me. Someday when it's over I hope to not have to wonder if I've given her enough. Growing up is hard, tonight doesn't have to be.
So for everyone who has called me a push over or her a brat, this is for you! Thank you for reminding me that the rest of the world isn't always so nice. So for her, I will be. Here's my baby furnace keeping me warm inside and out, because she told me she needed me tonight. And may tomorrow be another day that she has the courage to be independent in her exploration of her brand new world because I've given her the confidence that I will always be there when she calls. ?
Edit: By saying this I am in no way insinuating that people who chose not to co-sleep are bad parents. Everyone makes decisions that best fit their family and their baby. This is about ours.