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Parenting

06th Jan 2017

Cringe-Inducing Sex Moments That Will Make You Die A little

Alison Bough

We have all had at least one embarrassing moment that stays with us for life. You know the type that, even years later, you go red just thinking about it.

I’m one of those incredibly awkward people that has a list of embarrassing stories the length of my arm, and it would seem I am not alone. Despite being mature (?) grownups and parents it appears that most of us still blush around the same topic we did when we were teenagers. Yup, all things rumpy-bumpy.

Here are your top five most cringe-inducing sex moments:

5. When I was moving house I was putting stuff into various boxes and bags to either bring with me or give to charity. I was delighted with myself for being so organised until I realised I had given a bag to St. Vincent De Paul that included my vibrator…

4. My hubby and I went back to my in-law’s house after we had been out at a friend’s 40th birthday. My mother-in-law had been babysitting for us and our son, who was only about three months at the time, was asleep in the Moses basket in the sitting room. His mam went up to bed when we got home and we decided to have a little quickie on the couch. The next morning MIL looked very unimpressed and announced at breakfast that we should probably unplug the baby monitor the next time we decided to ‘be romantic’ in the sitting room. Mortified.

3. The first time we decided to try a…um…rear entry…I pooed on him. We didn’t try it again after that.

2. My husband and myself decided we needed to ‘spice things up a little’ and I suggested we do some role-play. I had bought a maids costume and thought I was looking fairly sexy. We were really getting into it but then he asked what my name was and I couldn’t think of anything so I panicked and said ‘Bertha.’ He just went with it and called me Bertha the whole time we were doing it. I never wore the costume again.

1. When I was about fifteen I was left traumatised after walking in to my parents’ bedroom. Let’s just say my Dad was kneeling in front of my mum. I just stood there frozen in horror and to make it even worse my Dad said ‘eh I’m just looking for something’. None of us spoke to each other for about a week.

Brave enough to share your most cringey moment? Get it off your chest in the Facebook comments.