A dad has written a powerful open letter about the advice he would give his younger, ‘childless self’.
Ted Gonder wrote on Facebook that he and his wife Franziska have three children together, and she “carried and birthed them all like a pro.” And so, he put together a list of the things he would want to tell his “childless, 24-year-old self” about being a supportive partner during the “becoming parents” phase.
He began the post by pointing out “wifey carried baby IN her belly for 9 months, so you carry baby ON your belly for 9 months every chance you get.”
“Not only does it help her recover but it bonds you to your kid more than imaginable,” he added.
His other tips ranged from changing “EVERY diaper you can, from diaper #1 onward” to making her decaf coffee every morning “even if she leaves it cold and forgets to drink it; she was up all night feeding the baby so help start her day in a way that helps her reset.”
He also advised to “tell her she is beautiful and help her see that in the moments when she is feeling most self critical and hopeless about her body” and to “remind her of times when she achieved goals in the past; remind her she is a superhero.”
He ended the post on a powerful note, encouraging his younger self to “take the heat”.
“She won’t seem like herself every day and sometimes she will say things she wouldn’t say if she didn’t feel like she was hungover, caffeinated, and on steroids every day,” he said. “Remember your job is to be her rock through all of this, so toughen up and keep perspective when her tongue is sharper than you know her best self intends.
“Normal will return soon and you want her to be grateful that you kept it together when she wasn’t, not resentful and disappointed that you hijacked her emotions by making her problems yours.”
Ted’s letter has struck a chord with social media users, with tens of thousands of people having shared the post since he posted it in September.
You can read Ted’s full post here.
