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Parenting

22nd Nov 2016

This Dad’s Painfully Honest Instagram Account Is The Funniest Thing We Have Seen In Ages

Trine Jensen-Burke

Parenting two kids is, in my humble opinion, challenging enough at times.

Which is why I can only imagine what having four kids must be like.

But, luckily, now I don’t even have to imagine anymore, because hilarious UK-dad Simon Hooper, who lives in London with his wife Clementine and four daughters (FOUR daughters!) shares the tales of his harried and hectic life with all of us on Instagram – and guys; it is pure gold.

Father_of_daughters, as Hooper’s Insgram account is aptly titled, admits to the Huffington Post that he shares the truth in an effort to be as realistic as possible about the challenges of parenting.

“In general my whole account is to show a realistic view of what parenting is like from a parent’s perspective,” the dad-of-four explained. “There is way too much sugarcoating when it comes to parents, so I wanted to share what it’s really like and provide a bit of humor at the same time.”

Amen to that.

In true to his word, Hooper’s pictures do indeed give a great insight into the trials and tribulations of raising four young kids.

We all know it, of course, that parenting, as well as being fun and love-filled and amazing, is also messy, stressful and at times even nightmarish. It is just easy to forget sometimes in these days of Pinterest-perfection and filtered reality.

Parenting, my friends, requires a strong commitment and an even stronger sense of humor. And when it comes to those, it looks like the Hoopers have it all – by the bucketload.

Just take a look and see:

The older girls were still away at dinner time this evening so rather than default to a ‘dad special’ (a pouch of nondescript food, a bananna and a biscuit) , I actually cooked. This is the first time they truly responded to a question I’ve asked and it’s with a NO, followed by laughter. Man, they’re tough critics. It was like a swift baby sized kick to the nuts and my ego. I wanted to shove the bowl right in their smug faces but thought better of it. Kind of sets the tone for the rest of my life I guess. Next time they’ll get bread and water from me followed by a stern look. #nexttimeitsbreadornothing #gordonramseywouldgomental #babykickstomyego #ofcourseiatetheleftovers #dadlife #fatherofdaughters #instadad

A video posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on

Cooking with the family is important so that they get an early interest in what healthy eating is all about. But when you add two 10 month work experience kitchen hands to the mix who have minimum training and hygiene standards that would get a greasy kebab placed closed down, Jamie Olivers 15 minutes meals turn into Simon hooper’s 90 minute botch jobs. In the end you just chuck it all in and hope for the best. The likelihood is that it will get rejected by the discerning clientele anyway. Might as well just short cut the whole process and chuck the raw food directly into the bin. #masterchefiaint #sausageandchipsitis #worstworkexperienceever #ottieatearawgarlicwhole #whydowebother #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on

Another monday, another last minute rush to the shops to avoid the armageddon I.e running out of nappies, wipes & baby crack (milk) for the addicts. I basically live in this aisle of the supermarket now. New parents seem to gravitate to me as an “experienced parent” (i.e. the tired looking guy shivering in the corner) and ask “do you know where so and so is please?” My reponse – “Sure 3rd shelf, half way down on the left hand side, buy 3 & get a discount,although you want to use that in combination with blah blah blah.” I’m like a walking encyclopaedia of baby product info. I used to use my brain to solve global corporate wide problems. I now use it to calculate bulk buy discounts. #ishouldgetanamebadge #bogofking #iliveherenojoke #dadbrain #lifeinthefastlane #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on

why is it that as soon as I come through the front door, I’m immediately forced to strap on my ‘parenting UN’ flack jacket & hard hat and dive into conflict resolution mode? Anya and Marnie are locked in a long, drawn out battle over the disputed lands of the sofa, the sovereignty of the blanket and who has rightful ownership of the much sort after SKY remote control. Sanctions are put in place to relieve the tension but both sides are showing little willingness to back down. The situation escalates – heated worded, threats to hostages safety (soft toys, clothing, sweets). The result – the TV going off and remote is hidden (in the cutlery draw). During all this Ottie played the role of Switzerland and didn’t get involved. Ban Ki-moon could learn a thing or two from me. #wheredoyouhideyourremote #UNparenting #whyamialwaysinthemiddle #familyconflictresolution #adadsworkisneverdone #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on

Why does bathtime always involve cramming as many family members into one of the smallest rooms in the house at the same time? I guess the eldest 2 like it as it’s like a cheap version of the sea life centre. They get to watch these weird pink slippery things splash about and generally contort themselves out of these chairs while sucking the life out of some sponges. Clemmie and I are there just play life guards and crowd control. I should charge admission. Just avoid the dirty nappies at the door and the water EVERYWHERE. Actually, forget it – Health and safety would definitely shut us done. #waterstaysinthebathgirls #bathtime #sealifecentreathome #cheapentertainment #twins #mygirls #theyneverstayinthesechairs #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on

The curse of being called Simon when at a children’s birthday party – I am immediately rolled out for the obligatory game of ‘Simon says’. Of course I take it easy to start with and filter out those that can’t keep up. After separating the wheat from the chaff, we get to the hard core pros who know their stuff. I finally kill them all off with the old stand on one leg, close one eye and stick out your tongue. The remaining kids think I’m taking it too seriously, get bored and run off leaving me looking like a proper tool. I might have taken competitive dadding too far- they’re only 6 after all, oh well. #competitivedad #ifyouplaywithmeweplayforreal #playhard #happybirthday #simonsays #happysunday #fatherofdaughters #instadad #parenting #kidsparty #dadlife

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on

These two have been round my ankles all day, literally. I’ve been walking around as if there’s broken glass on the floor to avoid stepping on them (no one wants to hear that cry you get when you accidentally tread on a small hand that’s not where it should be – that’s the point when you give yourself the ‘shittest parent of the day’ award). At least they do a good job of cleaning the floors, I should put Polish down and strap a rag to their stomachs. Might as well get them to pull their weight from an early age. FYI the tiles are from best tile UK. Encaustic Moroccan cement tiles. #itsnotchildlaboriftheyreyourkidsright #humanfloorcleaners #theyarecutethough #twins #stillcanttellthemapart #daywithdaddy #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on