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Parenting

02nd Aug 2019

This is what your daughters hear when you are being critical of your own bodies

Trine Jensen-Burke

Somewhere in my mind, a niggling little voice has started to remind me that we are now writing August on the calendar which, to all women, often means this one thing: holidays.

And much as I overall am quite happy with my own body (it works, it has produced two gorgeous babies), I will also be the first person to admit that post-children, it isn’t looking exactly the same as it once did. Which doesn’t really trouble me all that much most of the time, but summer means less clothes and more skin and all those flaws we are happy to cover up most of the year are laid bare.

I try to not let this stop me from hitting the beach and wearing my bikini and still feeling happy and confident. Mostly because I am acutely aware that I have a daughter who I desperately want to grow up and love her own body. Respect it. See how beautiful it is. Admire what it is capable of. And take care of it for all those reasons.

And children, much as we sometimes forget, pick up on pretty much everything we say. Even when we say it not to them but to ourselves.  And if you think there’s no harm in making fun of your hips or jokingly chastising yourself for eating that ice cream or muffin, think again. Your children are paying attention.

And this becomes an issue when research shows that daughters of women who don’t like their bodies are more likely to be dissatisfied with their own. Something which, I think to all us mums, is heartbreaking to hear.

This video will, hopefully, make all of us rethink how we talk about our own bodies, both in front of our children and to ourselves.