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Parenting

14th Mar 2017

Dave Moore: Six Years Of Parenting And I Still Don’t Understand These Things

Dave Moore

Andrew was born in November 2009. I’ve been a Dad since then. In 2012, we welcomed Samuel along. Then, just before Christmas in 2014, double trouble arrived in the shape of Nina and Anna. We are blessed to have four kids but, even after all the years and all the experience, here are some things I still don’t get. 

1. My kids will throw a fit and do anything to avoid consuming their dinner but, without any coaxing, will happily eat the following: stones, Lego, wheels from toy cars, anything in the dog’s bowl, dead flies and my dinner (which is identical to their dinner).

2. It takes SO long to get dressed for school. It could take 25 minutes some mornings, but they can turn into Darth Vader, including boots, cape, mask and light sabre in less than 60 seconds.

3. Their inability to understand time. When are we going on holidays, Daddy? Sunday. *waits 10 seconds* Is it Sunday now, Daddy? No. That’s in four days. *counts to four in a whisper* Yaaay! It’s Sunday! Let’s go on holiday!

4. I put a clip in Anna’s hair. This is to her advantage. She’s in a dress but still has less hair than most newborns. The clip helps her look feminine and dainty. She immediately pulls it out, popping out precious hairs along the way and crying. Then, she hands it to me and screams until I put it back in. I put it back in, and the cycle begins again.

5. Their sudden lack of imagination. They can create entire universes on a rug with one Lego man and a spoon but ask them to tell a story and it’s this every time: Once upon a time, there was a…*looks around*… a Daddy, and he went to a…*looks around*… a kitchen, and he found a magic…*looks around*** sink. The end.

Ohhhhh kaaaaay.

I am David Zachary John Moore. I am married to Tracy (who used to be Velcro Girl on 2Phat). We have four kids. We have a dog called Lorna, a lurcher we rescued in 2005. She can leap a nine-foot wall in one go. I am tired.

Topics:

dads,Dave Moore