Comedy writer James Breakwell is no stranger to the HerFamily pages. We just about LOVE every single one of his tweets. He has a unique way of painting a picture of fatherhood that just gets us every time, and like us, he is not afraid to let it all out, every honest post at a time.
4-year-old: *puts on one white shoe and one brown shoe*
Me: You can't wear two different shoes.
4: I have two different feet.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) January 26, 2017
James is a father to four children, four girls all under the age of 6 which means that they’re going to be at the age where they are the most gas.
He keeps his followers updated with his daughter’s hilarious put-downs and sarcastic comments on his Twitter account.
The girl’s simplistic views on life are truly, little delights to read.
4-year-old: *spills a sugary drink*
Me: Clean it up. Don’t you know what that attracts?
4: Wolves.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) January 27, 2017
Me: I played this as a kid. It's from back when video games made sense
6-year-old: Why did you jump on a turtle?
Me: Because I'm a plumber
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) January 28, 2017
Me: Don’t hit your sister with a lightsaber.
4-year-old: I didn't.
Me: I saw you.
4: Lightsabers don’t hit. They slice.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) January 27, 2017
Me: Dream big.
4-year-old: I don't want to sleep that long.
Me: It's a saying. You don’t actually have to sleep.
4: I'll dream medium.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) January 25, 2017
My 2-year-old rolled up both her pant legs, then walked into the bathroom.
Not sure what she plans to do in there, but she means business.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) January 27, 2017
Give us some examples of comedy gold in your house? Little kids say the funniest things. Comes on, share with us in the comments.
