Trying to squeeze in time (and even the energy!) for some romance when you have a 5-year-old, a 2-year-old and two parents with full-time jobs is rather, well, challenging.
Most couples reach the point where they need to up the romance game a little. Or, let me amend that; A LOT.
For me and my partner, we are not lacking love as such, but in between pregnancies and babies who wake before anyone should be up and leaky boobs and ballet lessons and work and laundry and just LIFE, romance has definitively taken a little back-seat of late.
Which I intend to do something about.
I am always on the ball when it comes to micro-managing and planning out our lives and timetables in every other way, so why shouldn’t be able to do the same for our love life?!
If you google “romance after baby” you will not be left short on inspiration on how to get love back on the agenda. Not everything is equally realistic, mind you. “Have a shower together” was one. No. Thanks. On the rare occasion that I get to enjoy a shower without someone coming in to watch me from the potty or having to dash out and get Barbie slippers out of pots of yogurt – dripping of half applied hair masks, I actually prefer to shower ALL ALONE.
On the rare occasion that I get to enjoy a shower without someone coming in to watch me from the potty or having to dash out and get Barbie slippers out of pots of yogurt – dripping of half applied hair masks, I actually prefer to shower ALL ALONE.
But shower aside, I am definitively going to give some of the other Bring Romance Back recipes Google gave me a try. And if you feel like investing some time in your own love lives, here are my top picks:
1. Talk
This may sound like a very obvious (and not so exciting) one, but as partner and I have a bit of ships-passing-in-the-night thing going on, we are increasingly e-mailing each other vital pieces of information instead of communicating it in person. Like:
“Luca did not poop all day yesterday, did he poop this morning before you dropped him in?! Sent at 09.10 AM. Reply received at 09.27 AM: “No poop. Good form. Weetabix. Get milk OYWH (On Your Way Home).
See?
2. Treat every night as if it is special
According to the Internet, I should “change out of flannel jammies and put on a cute pair of boy shorts and a tank or a pretty nightgown”. If this alone isn’t enough to get things going, try “lighting candles, watching a movie and do what comes naturally.” I am just a little scared that “what comes naturally” in our case is going to be sleep…
3. Go on dates
I totally love date nights. Love them. Give me any excuse to dress up, and I’m there. Easy peasy. (*Googles “How To Find A Babysitter Who Is Not A Child-Killer”…)
4. Romantic gestures
It’s amazing how having children changes the bar for a lot of things. Romantic gestures included. In my pre-baby days I enjoyed the classics, like flowers, new Agent Provocateur undies and being wined and dined (NOT by the Dine in for Two promotion in M&S, but in an actual restaurant). These days I can get butterflies when I see my partner fold towels and pair children’s socks. But I doubt that Google would think sock-pairing is enough in this regard, so I will aim to up the game a little.
5. Bring sexy back
Karl Lagerfeldt once stated that if you wore sweatpants it was a sign that you had given up, you had lost control of your life. Much can be said about old Karl, but he was absolutely on to something. While not exactly sweatpants, I DO tend to roam around the house in yoga-pants a lot these days. Which is definitively veering on the not-so-sexy side of looks. But no more. Pencil skirts and fitted tops it will have to be. (This one I do think might actually lead to some romance. Men are, after all, pretty visual creatures.
6. Hotel sex
There is no denying that hotel sex IS far better than all other types of sex. I think it might be the white bed linens. Or room service. It is now officially on my to-do list. (See point 3 above though).
7. Have fun
It can sometimes be hard to remember this one when you are knee-deep in Pampers and play-dough, but experts claim one of the most important things to keep a relationship strong after having babies, is to NOT forget to have fun. And when you think about, laughter really IS a great aphrodisiac. And in between all the FUN dates I am now going to make an effort to make for us, the good news is, with kids in the house, there are always situations that will make you laugh. A lot.
And if all else fails, curling up together on the sofa with take-out, Netflix and wine can be pretty darn romantic too!
