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Parenting

03rd Feb 2017

Heartbroken Mum Spends Two Weeks Bonding With Her Newborn After Her Death

Amanda Cassidy

Baby Evlyn died just four weeks after she was born.

She had a rare chromosomal abnormality which her parents were told about during the pregnancy.

Her mum and dad, Charlotte and Attila, chose to spend 16 days with her following her death and her hospice provided a refrigerated ‘cuddle cot’.

The Daily Mail reports that the couple, from York, got to take her out for walks and even got to take her home to her own nursery that they had set up for her.

They said it made them feel like ‘parents’ and really helped their grief process:

“I know it might not be the best option for everyone. But for us, it was so important to be able to have that family time and just properly cuddle our little girl. I think having the time with her made such a difference. Being able to do so many of the things you imagine like taking her out in her pram, it really helped emotionally.”

She said she will always cherish her memories of those days.

“I was really nervous about bringing her home because I didn’t know if it would feel right, but it was so nice to have her there. And it wasn’t just for us but for Evlyn so she got to come home”

The couple now wants other parents to be aware that they too could have this option. Charlotte says her daughter died very peacefully:

“She passed away just a couple of minutes after they took out her breathing tube. She was so weak she didn’t take a single breath. I was holding her in my arms as she went and her dad had his arms around us both. We stayed at the hospice for 12 days and would take Evlyn out of her cuddle cot for five to 10 minutes for cuddles or to go for walks around the garden with her.”

Dr Clea Harmer is the chief executive at stillbirth and neonatal death charity Sands in the UK.

“A cold cot allowed Evlyn’s parents to spend extra time with their daughter after she had died, and some parents tell us that spending time with their babies at home or in hospital can help them with the grieving process. I would urge anyone who has been affected by the death of a baby to contact us.”

 What do you think about this way of grieving? 

(Images via Mercury Press and Media Ltd)

Topics:

grief,newborn