Our resident Organisational Psychologist, Coach and Mum, Leisha McGrath is here to answer your burning questions on returning to work from maternity leave and how to achieve a healthy work/life balance.
Our reader Claudine from Limerick sent us in this question:
Q: I am a senior professional who repeatedly comes up against aggressive/mannish behaviour and glass ceilings in the workplace. Can you advise me on how best to manage my ongoing sense of frustration and injustice?
A: Firstly, I am really sorry to hear that you are feeling so frustrated. It sounds like a very tough situation. Without too many details I’m afraid I am going to have to respond more generally, and I hope the advice below is of use.
Most organisations that I’m aware of are top-heavy with male executives. Within these groups typically, as you say “mannish” behaviours abound. In my experience this type of behaviour can stem from an aggressive sense of competition and waiting until things are broken to address any improvements. There tends to be less consideration for how people might react or feel about things in advance and it is these types of behaviours that get rewarded and therefore repeated. It becomes or has become the norm, or the culture of the organisation.
Typically, and bear with me while I stereotype wildly for a moment, female behaviours are less aggressive and more nurturing. There tends to be more of a focus on improvement for improvement’s sake, and employees will often get due consideration for their personal needs. What can happen as female employees ascend the ranks is that a clash with the established culture can occur. What you might expect to be a valid and important way to behave may clash with the powers that be, and with “how things are done around here”. Where they may (wrongly) perceive you to be lacking or weak, is simply their lack of understanding of another approach. And this misunderstanding on their part can lead to your skills not necessarily being recognised and promotions not being as forthcoming as you would like.
Happily many organisations are becoming wise to the value of taking a blended approach to their culture – of cementing both (stereotypically) male and female preferences in how they conduct their business. However, it is not the case for most organisations, and I suspect strongly that this change in direction will be a slow burn.
So what can you do in the interim? Firstly, know that you are not alone and that this is an acknowledged issue, one that many people are involved in trying to resolve. It may help to reach out to organisations such as the 30% Club or Connecting Women in Technology, or to simply join your local Women in Business network for support and advice from like-minded professionals. If you’re interested in reading more on the subject, google Herminia Ibarra who writes extensively in this space, amongst others.
For now though, experts such as Dr. Melrona Kirrane suggest that it may be helpful to think not in terms of a glass ceiling, but more in terms of work being like a labyrinth with lots of twists and turns and perceived dead ends. Work on being politically astute – know the rules of the game and really engage with them. It would be of massive benefit to get a sponsor, someone who will really open doors for you, and perhaps engage a coach who can work with you on how to best manage your profile and reputation, and how to develop and exude executive presence.
Above all, don’t give up! We need women like you in the workplace. Women who can educate the powers that be of a new way of doing things. Women who will forge the path for our daughters so they don’t have to put up with the same nonsense when their turn comes.
Check out Leisha’s website, lma.ie for more info.
