Taking those first steps through motherhood isn’t always easy.
It can be fraught with anxiety and doubt as we try to figure out what exactly we’re supposed to be doing.
We’re also trying to figure out this new identity. What is a mum, who am I as a mum?
Will I be a good mum? Will I always know what to do? Will I fail?
Before I became a parent I was just me. There was no expectations on how I should be, only that I should be myself.
Once you become a mum all of that changes. You’re not just seen as you anymore, you’re seen as a mother.
You’re expected to know exactly what you’re doing and always be perfect which is just an impossible standard for anyone never mind someone who ha just been handed a tiny person to look after.
Mistakes will happen. You’ll buy the wrong size nappies. You’ll make the formula wrong. You’ll become so frustrated and sleep deprived that you will snap and cry.
When it comes to motherhood there’s no preparation. All the baby books tell you about everything you need to know about your new baby but nothing about yourself.
They don’t prepare you for the roller-coaster of emotions that you’re about to experience or how sometimes you might not feel at home in your new role.
You will feel guilty about not always liking motherhood, I know I have. The nights when I’ve gotten no sleep or have had to deal with a baby suffering with colic with not filled with joy.
We’re not warned that sometimes we’ll just want to be by ourselves and that it’s not being ungrateful, it’s just that we’re human.
There’s been so many times that I’ve had what I call imposter mum syndrome. The feeling that I’m the only mum getting it wrong.
There’s been so many times I’ve looked at other mums who have flawless hair, perfect packed lunches for their kids and have time management down to a T and I think ‘why am I not like that?’
It’s like being in a job where you feel like everyone is more qualified than you and you’ve no idea how you got your foot in the door.
But I am here and you’re here and we’re all just mums trying to figure it out as we go along.
The reality is that even the mums who we all look at thinking that they have it so perfect struggle with motherhood from time to time.
Underneath this role we’re still who we were before. We’re still women who lived a life just as us before we ever became parents.
She’s still there and it’s important to remember that. It’s important to remember that you’re still human and you can’t get it right all the time.
I think our generation of parents have felt the most under pressure because there’s so much media streaming the optimum ideal of motherhood at us.
You don’t need to live up to this ideal, you don’t have to feel like an imposter, you know exactly what you need to know and everything else you will figure out along the way.
It’s time we all cut ourselves some slack. As long as both you and your child are happy then that’s really all that matters.
