Last night, when we were lying in bed reading, my little boy grabbed a handful of my hair and twirled his fingers into it, declaring: “Mummy, your hair smells like mummy.”
Which, having just washed it, I assume means it smelled like the shampoo and conditioner I normally use – so, to him, I guess, it did smell like ‘mummy.’
It made me think, though, about what it is that they’ll remember about me when they are not little anymore. When we don’t cuddle in bed at night anymore and when he is all grown up and his little-ness nothing but a sweet memory. What will he (and his sister) remember of me then? Of our days together, of their childhood, or all these little things we do day in and day out, and that I have a million pictures of them doing (sleeping all snuggled up, reading on the sofa, running around the park, making Sunday morning pancakes), but hardly any pictures at all of all three of us – when I am in the picture too.
I wish I had been better at getting someone to snap more pictures with me in the picture. Stopped strangers, asked my friends, my mum– anyone. I just wish I had so many more pictures of us that they could look back on and literally see, in plain view, how much I loved them. How much I soaked them in. How lucky I felt.
It’s on my 2020 bucket list. I want to be in more pictures. Not caring what my hair looks like or how tired I look or what I am wearing – just pictures of me being with them – that is all I want.
Which is why when I came across this Facebook post earlier this evening, it struck me. Because it is so true. Us mums are so often the ones behind the camera, we rarely get to be the ones in front of it. And that is sad. For us, and for our children, who one day will have nothing but these pictures to remember us by.
Take a look at this post by Life of Dad – and feel free to share it with any dad who could do with this gentle reminder:
Here is the post in full:
“Dear Dads,
I know you’re holding your phone right now. You probably always have your phone in your hand or at least in your pocket.
Do her a favor and take more pictures. No, not screenshots of a funny meme you just saw on Twitter.
I’m talking about pictures of her. The mother of your children. The love of your life. The one who works so hard to hold it all together for your precious family.
Take more pictures of her.
One night when she’s lying in bed reading a story to your daughter, whip out your phone and take a picture.
Without warning.
Without posing.
Just take the picture.
When she’s in the kitchen talking to your son about his day, take the picture.
If she’s rolling around on the floor with the kids or helping one with their homework, take the picture.
Time goes by so fast and every day these sweet babies are getting older and older. Before we know it, they’ll be packing up their cars and moving off to college.
Take the picture.
One day she’ll be gone and all the kids have left of her are memories.
Take the picture.
Take the pictures to show them the love she had for them. Take the pictures so they can always remember how silly she was. Take the pictures so they can see how beautiful she was. It doesn’t matter if she’s in her pajamas and on day 4 of dry shampoo, please, take the picture.
My mom passed away when I was 20 years old. All I have are pictures. I stare at the pictures of her holding me in her lap laughing at something cute I must have said. I zoom in on pictures of her hands to see if I have the same ones as I’ve gotten older.
You can’t capture things like that in a selfie.
Please, take the picture.
I know you don’t always think about it, but when you do, don’t worry about anything else and just take the picture. Your kids (and your wife) will be so grateful in the end.”
