A woman has reached out online for advice after falling out with her partner about breastfeeding.
The Mumsnet user said that she and her other half were discussing having a second baby when the issue of breastfeeding came up.
The woman breastfed their first child but “casually said I think I would formula feed,” if they were to have another.
“He replied he wouldn’t want another one if I was going to formula feed.
“This then turned into a big argument which when we got to the bottom of it, what he really meant was he wouldn’t want another baby if even before I’ve got pregnant, I had decided to formula feed.”
The woman went on to explain that she would like to breastfeed again but thinks it’d be too difficult with a toddler around.
“He would be supportive if I gave it a go but had a good reason to stop,” she continued.
“He’s a nutritionist and has studied in detail how good breastmilk is so I guess it’s important to him.”
She asked other users on the parenting forum if she was being unreasonable and the response was fairly mixed.
Some commenters thought that the husband could have been more supportive of her choice.
“I think he is being a bit unfair. My husband wanted me to me to breast feed if I could but I know he wouldn’t have got mad if he couldn’t / wouldn’t,” wrote one.
“It’s your body. It’s your physical breasts. It’s your energy you are giving over. It’s your sleepless nights and mastitis. Your choice. He gets to nod and agree,” shared another.
“He thinks he can unilaterally decide whether or not to have another child, based on something which he has never personally experienced, which does not affect him even remotely, and which affects you and your body? Not a f*cking chance.”
Others argued that the woman should at least try to breastfeed.
“Why don’t you try? It would be better from that position, rather than immediately ruling it out. There are always things which are hard as a parent. Does that mean we should always take the easy rather than best option?”
“Those that seem to go for the “easy” route and bottle feed seem for more stressed then those that breast feed. So much hassle and work getting bottles ready at all hours of the day versus flipping a breast out for the hungry dear if you see what I mean.”
However easy, worthwhile or ‘important’ breastfeeding is is sort of beside the point here though, right? Is it fair for a partner to hold off on having more children over breastfeeding?
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