A mum has shared an open letter urging parents to let their children see them cry.
Mum-of-four Constance Hall said that while the urge to hide your feelings and insist to your loved ones that “no, no, mummy’s fine” can be strong, she feels it can actually benefit kids if they see their parents shed a tear.
Especially since, in her opinion, it helps children be able to better process their emotions.
She began her post by saying;
“Do you hide in the shower when you need to cry?
“Do you wipe your puffy face quickly and answer your kids with “no no mummies fine.”
“I used to.. you know, you don’t want your kids to feel the insecurity of their rock breaking down…
“I remember sobbing behind a closed door determined that my children wouldn’t see me.
“A couple of years ago I cried a lot. And so things change…they inevitably caught me, they consoled me, in gentle caring ways, little arms on my shoulders as I lied about being fine.
“I got help, my life got better. But my children remained changed.”
She went on to explain that one of her kids had recently come home and told her that one of their teachers broken down crying during class – and while other teachers came to her assistance, some of the students started to poke fun at her.
Constance continued:
“It got me thinking about how any of us handle raw emotion. I was raised by a young single mother, she had a knack for tough situations, she had been through a lot in her short life, and always taught me ‘don’t be so worried about saying the wrong thing, just say something, go in for the hug, say your sorry, ask the questions, in a world where everyone is silent in the face of raw emotion just say something’.
“When my step dads brother was dying we all stood silently in the room trying to be polite, my mum jumped on his bed and wrapped her arms around him and said ‘this is so shit’ which allowed him the space to have a cry.
I never forgot it.“It occurred to me that I’ve never had a boyfriend who was comfortable to comfort me when I was distressed, even my current husband who is very emotionally mature backs away and shuts down when I cry.
“But on the weekend I watched a terribly sad documentary with my children and as tears were welling up in mine and my daughters eyes my son put his arms around us both, patting and rubbing our backs.
“I realised that my kids are completely ok with human emotion, not traumatised from seeing their mum cry, they care and understand that this is life..
“People get hurt, people hurt people, mums have their limits and even teachers cry.
“There is such comfort for a child knowing that their rock can break down, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t secure.
“And if we can’t be their for each other why are we here at all?”
