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Parenting

21st Jun 2019

Mum says she ‘hates’ her son for a devastating reason

Keeley Ryan

upset boy leaning against a wooding fence

“I can’t help but wish he was never born.”

A desperate mum has told how she “hates” her 12-year-old son and thinks he is a “horrible human being” – for devastating reasons.

The woman explained that she is now at her wits end with the boy, who is “nothing but trouble” and is “angry and abusive”at home and at school.

She wrote on Mumsnet:

“My 12 year old son is nothing but trouble. He’s always in bother at school, angry and abusive in school and at home.

“Refuses to do anything he’s told. Spends most of school in internal exclusion – yesterday other children were annoying him so he cut some poor boys head phones wire with a scissors then cut a girls hair. She was crying on the phone to her Dad.

“Doesn’t respond to any punishment such as having stuff taken away or being grounded- he doesn’t care about consequences.”

She went on to explain that the boy’s “latest antic” involves refusing to get up to school, leaving the heartbroken mum and her husband constantly stressed.

The mum wrote that the 12-year-old boy had pretended to go to school for a few days, but had actually been going to the park “to meet with other undesirables to smoke and drink. Now he just refuses to go [to school].”

She said:

“I try and talk to him and he just tells me to F off. My other children are lovely.Referral to Cahms just bounced back and he refuses to engage with a counsellor.

“He hates me and his Dad and now I hate him. I’m thinking of contacting social services to see if they will take him away.

“He is a horrible human being and can’t help but wish he was never born.”

In the comments, the mum added that her son – who is her firstborn – had pushed her down the stairs a month ago. However, he didn’t care when the police were called – and the officers “couldn’t get over his attitude.”

She added:

“When he does something really wrong he just blames me. When he pushed me down the stairs he told me it was my fault as I made him angry. I hadn’t even raised my voice – just asked him something about his day.”

There was a huge debate in the comments, although most of the comments were Mumsnet users sympathising with the mum and offering her advice on the next steps.

One person said:

“I have no advice, just a handhold because my son is similar and I’ve tried everything.”

Someone else wrote:

“I know he is only a child but he is behaving violently and being emotionally abusive. You need to protect your other children.

“I am not suggesting ‘giving him away’ but I do think you need to give social services a call.”

Another commenter added:

“You sound emotionally exhausted OP, which is totally understandable (no judgement here).

“It also sounds like your son is, and doesn’t know how to express his feelings. He sounds very lost and angry, probably as a result of not being able to cope in school and then being punished for acting out.”