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Parenting

06th May 2018

Mum shares refreshingly honest post about how Kids changed her relationship

HerFamily

A mother has penned a refreshingly honest post about how becoming a parent has completely changed her relationship with her other half.

Mel Watts, who is the brain behind The Modern Mumma blog, took to Facebook over the weekend to paint an frank picture of how date nights have disappeared and hot showers are no more.

She explains:

“I write this from a very raw part of my heart. The other night I lay there crying for unknown reasons [okay, maybe not unknown – the utero was having it’s monthly party] as I tried to go to sleep.

He was snoring his busy week away and I was wide awake thinking of all the things we used to do. How different we use to be. I was mad at him for changing. I was mad at myself for changing. It is no ones fault. Its just a moment in our life where I can say – it’s not all roses and handcuffs.

The long date nights have gone.

The sleep-ins are non existent.

The surprise weekends away, we can no longer afford them.

The new underwear – seriously who even made edible underwear “excuse me whilst I finish my mouthful of cotton candy, shit I’ve got a hole in my tooth, that hurt”…. Completely impractical.

The long hot showers, are now luke warm and we’re tag teaming kids in between.

The late nights are now laying there silently with our backs to each other hoping the other one will get up for the crying baby.”

She continues by declaring that “children are hard work” before adding that they do take over everything, for a number of years at least.

“Children are hard work. They do put a damper on things. Some people may be able to keep their shit together but some people, like us, we find it hard to balance.

The children have become the number one priority and at some point we need to learn to put our relationship towards the top of that priority list. I think in time it will become that way again. You have to make it past these difficult times to get there. It’s not that its even difficult, its just different. And sometimes different is really hard.”

Mel ends her post on a positive note before saying that she can’t imagine spending the rest of her days with anyone else and that it is simply a case that they have “a different kind of relationship now.”

The mum-of-three finishes off with a positive message, revealing that all relationships change over time and she certainly wouldn’t want to go through it with anyone else.

“Nothing is going to be easy forever. Nothing is going to stay the same. And thats okay. Life is all about the change. It’s about becoming together and staying together during the good, the ugly and the children.

Once you stop comparing yourselves to your old selves it becomes easier. Once you talk to each other about it you understand you’re both feeling the same way. Of course it’s worrying and of course its scary. No one likes change, and no one expects change. But just like everything else in life – relationships change.”

What do you think mamas? Has your relationship changed?