A mum sparked a huge debate online after questioning if it would be unfair of her to “favour one adult child financially”.
The woman explained that she has three grown-up children, all in their 20s, who were brought up “with equal amounts of love, attention, practical, emotional and financial support”.
But, turning to Mumsnet for advice, the woman admitted she was considering selling the family home so she could be her eldest daughter a flat.
She explained:
“The younger two are doing ok in life.
They have had their problems and challenges but are generally happy in their jobs and relationships and are optimistically planning their futures.
“Sadly, we all now realise that the mental health problems that my oldest daughter has experienced since her early teens are never going to go away despite her and our best efforts.
“She has had to give up on her career and her relationship and it really seems unlikely she will ever be able to support herself financially.
“So I am considering selling our family home and with the addition of some savings, buying two small flats locally,one for me and one for my daughter.
“She could live with me but I think it is important she has her own home and independence with me close by to support her.
“The flat I buy for her would be in her name and owned outright by her. I would also aim to help her out with day to day expenses.
“My other two children live in rented accomodation and dont really have much chance of buying in the near future.
“I dont have any further funds to be able to help them with this. Is it unfair for me to help the one that I think most needs the help or should I be trying to treat them all equally despite the different circumstances?
“I suppose I don’t know what problems they might have in the future. “
While many people were quick to share their opinions on the matter, most of them agreed that while the situation must be difficult, the woman needed to treat all of her kids equally.
One person said:
“I think you’ve answered your own question. What if you did this now and, heaven forbid, but one of your other children found themselves unable to support themselves? It would be too late to help them too.”
Someone else added:
“As a mother I understand your reasoning. As a sibling I would struggle if my mother did this. But I am not close to my sibling and we were rivals when growing up.”
Another wrote:
“Tough one but I’d treat them equally in this case. Your eldest could live with you as you say.”
