A mum has told of her fury after her mother-in-law convinced her husband to change their newborn baby’s name while she was recovering from a C-section.
To make things even worse, though, she only found out the truth months later.
The anonymous mum wrote to Slate about the situation, revealing she was asleep following her emergency C-section when her partner’s mum – who lives in a different state – rang.
Her letter began:
“Apparently his mother guilt-tripped him into doing this while I was asleep after my emergency C-section.
“She tried to convince him to give our son a first name that I very much hated, saying that I would ‘get mad, but get over it’.”
While her husband thought changing their son’s name was “too much”, he gave in and changed the spelling of the little boy’s middle name.
According to the mum, she and her husband agreed on ‘Finley’ before she went into labour – but her mother-in-law wanted it changed to ‘Finlay’ as it is more masculine.
The woman’s husband was “too afraid” to tell her what had happened, so she found out the truth when she was looking to file away his birth certificate.
She continued:
“His mother has always been a manipulator and I have always known she doesn’t like me. But she blatantly disrespected me and the name my husband and I had chosen for our son.
“She manipulated my husband into thinking it was all right to lie to me about something as serious as the spelling of our son’s name.”
The woman said that she will be legally changing the little boy’s name to correct the spelling, acknowledging that her husband was “very much” at fault for doing it.
She asked the Agony Aunt column whether she should approach her mother-in-law about the situation, as she reckons something needs to be said to her.
However, the reply she got encouraged her not to say something to her in-law – just in case things got more heated.
It went on:
“What in the entire f*ck is up with your husband? He’s got to decide if you are his co-parent or if his mother is. And until he makes that decision, he can’t be trusted. Period.
“Purposefully changing the name of your child on a birth certificate behind your back is pretty close to a fireable offense if you ask me. I mean real close.
“I don’t take divorce lightly, and I’m not recommending it on the strength of this one event alone, but a thing like this gets up to a good 65 percent on the Potential Divorce-O-Meter, and if I were you I would need some time to get over this.
“He owes you a very significant and full-throated apology, and if he doesn’t see why then it’s hard for me to imagine that you are in a relationship with a trustworthy partner.
“I’m mad just reading about this. You and your kid deserve so much better.
“Your husband needs therapy, your mother-in-law needs to kick rocks, and you need to be as angry about this as you feel like being for as long as you feel like being angry about it.
Be honest with yourself about how you truly feel and don’t be afraid of that feeling.”
