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Parenting

10th Apr 2019

Woman’s partner sparks fury after asking for her to pay half of bills while she’s on maternity leave

People thought that the request rang "major alarm bells".

Keeley Ryan

People said his request rang “major alarm bells.”

A mum turned to the internet for advice after her partner said he wanted her to keep paying 50 per cent of the bills while on maternity leave.

She wrote to a parenting forum after the discussion with her other half, questioning: “should the mother pay 50/50 towards bills when on maternity leave?”

She wrote on Mumsnet:

“I have discussed this with my partner and he would like me to continue to contribute half towards the mortgage and bills while on maternity leave.

“To do so I will need to use a redundancy pay out that I was given during the first stages of pregnancy.

“He earns a very high wage.”

People were quick to share their opinions in the comments, with many people saying his request rang “major alarm bells.”

One person said:

“He does not value the contribution you will be making by raising your (both yours and his) baby.

“Your loss of income is a family loss – not your loss alone. This should be made clear to him now.”

Someone else added:

“Is the baby not his then? This makes no sense whatsoever to me.

“You’re on maternity leave because you’re having his child and he wants you to continue to pay half the bills.”

Other parents said the the idea of a couple splitting bills 50/50 should be forgotten about once they are going to have children.

One Mumsnet poster wrote:

“If a man isn’t willing to support his partner while she has their baby then I regard his as a lost cause.

“Why have a baby in a relationship if you are still expected to go it on your own?

“As part of your discussion , make it clear that expecting you to continue paying half would mean your sole job is taking care of the baby and you shouldn’t do anything else in working hours in case he expects to suddenly have an unpaid housekeeper as well as an unsupported new mother at home.”

Another commented:

“Maybe you could suggest he takes parternaty leave and looks after baby full time and pays 50 per cent of everything while you return to work and your full income.”

A different commenter remarked:

“I wouldn’t have a baby with someone I didn’t have fully joint finances with.”