When I was little, my friend’s mum (let’s call her Jill) got cystitis. Later when I got home I told my mum that Jill was very ill with syphilis.
They had a great hoot over that one!
As we know, kids do say the silliest of things – we had great fun collecting other parent’s experiences to put a smile on your face.
Here are the most hilarious quotes and questions kids have asked, and we dare you not to laugh!
1. My son when he was six: “Dad, can we get a cat?”
Me: “Your Mom is allergic to cats, so no.
My Son: “When Mom dies can we get a cat?”
Me: “Sure.” George (Reddit thread)
2. While waiting in line to get her picture taken with Santa, I was giving my two-year-old daughter pieces of popcorn one at a time as a snack. I must have been a little slow with my delivery and she shouted “MORE COCKPORN DADDY” at the top of her lungs. It was awesome. Daddy cool_1
3. “I was dating a guy back when my son was about 7 years old. I picked him up from the airport one night and brought my son with me. While we were driving home, the three of us started playing the game ‘raise your hand if you have ever’, and five minutes into it my son blurts out ‘raise your hand if you’ve ever clogged up the toilet with poo like my mum did this morning’. I still want to run and hide just thinking about it. Allthatjazz
4. “My daughter had a 6 month phase at around 2 year old where all men were “daddy” and all women were “mommy”. The women took it fine, but she caused the men some anxiety. Once incident I can recall, our boiler had stopped working and I called a repair service. They sent this guy over who looked about 20, 25 years old tops. So I have cartoons on to keep her distracted, but as soon as the guy comes in the door she looks at him and yells “Mommy! It’s Daddy! Daddy is here!” Really, she was just expressing excitement over a new person in her house, but that poor kid clearly had no idea what to do with himself. She continued to make him as uncomfortable as possible by periodically peering into the room where he was working and shouting “Why are you so noisy, Daddy?” Hell raiser_061
5. “In the toilets at a local supermarket: Mother Nature was paying her visit. My four year old son came in the cubicle with me… then went running out of the toilet to announce to his grandma, and the rest of the supermarket, that “my mummy has a piece of string hanging out of her bum”. Good times. Jenny_Oniz
6. “My daughter is 8 now, but when she was 2, I taught her to say ‘behold’ instead of ‘look’. We’d be at the store or something and she’d go to point out everything she saw by shouting, “Daddy, behold!” LadsDads89
7. “My daughter decided to strip completely naked, nappy and all in the shop when I had my back turned for about five seconds. I only became aware when a lovely old lady tapped me on my shoulder and whispered into my ear “Excuse me love, your child is dancing naked beside the potatoes” I still laugh when I remember. my_legs_zebra
8. ‘My daughter Emmy stroked a naked old lady’s bottom at the gym. I did what any self-respecting parent of a granny groper would do and pretended it hadn’t happened, as did the old lady. If she happens to be reading this, I’m so very sorry. Meg Hill via the Daily Mail
9. “Our babysitter came over, and I told her to help herself to anything in the fridge. ‘Except the wine,’ my daughter added. ‘That’s for mom when the kids go to bed.’ AlysonPrice
10. “This is more of a confession: My son and I were swimming at the gym he was three years old and an enormous man came in wearing very tight speedo’s. Everyone was looking and it was a small indoor pool. I tensed. My son opened his mouth and starts yelling “look at that…” And I dropped him so he went underwater.” SidMiller_6
11. My daughter had a activity in kindergarten where on fathers day the dads come in and have a coffee morning. They fill out a sheet with things about their fathers. My kid wrote dad’s favorite food: tacos. Favorite drink: beer. Something he likes to do: beat me.
Damn you Mario Cart. JacksMores
So repeat after me – they are worth it, they are worth it…and share with us your funniest moments with your kids!
