Parenthood

You have waited nine months for this moment.

You have just experienced one of the most precious moments of your life and you cannot wait to tell your wider circle about this amazing experience. But wait, why is everyone suddenly texting you congratulating you on your baby boy? They love the name, they can't believe he is here, they can't believe how big he was. WHAT?

Some people have a friend like this - a friend who is SO SUPER EXCITED for your new arrival that they only go and post your news to the world before you can say 'placenta'.

Baby news etiquette differs for everyone.  You almost need to make an action plan about what is going to happen, who you tell first, who you don't tell until the baby dust has settled.

A friend I know had to ask a relative to remove a quite unflattering picture of them in the birthing suite that had posted to social media. TMI much?

Imagine how this dad on Reddit felt when his baby thunder was stolen recently by a family friend  (who also happened to be their paediatrician) who told all the waiting family and friends before the couple shared their news. And although it was not done over social media, the new dad felt a line had definitely been crossed.

NewDad_Throwaway explained:

"A friend of my wife - who also happens to be a paediatrician (and who we planned to use as our paediatrician) - told my family who was in the waiting room as soon as our daughter had been born. She had been in the waiting room with the rest of the family and friends, but she obtained this information by texting one of the nurses who she knew was on staff. Some nurse who wasn’t even working our case gave her the information. Our friend the paediatrician told everyone in the waiting room the joyful news. I was unaware, so our friends and family pretended to hear it for the first time when I arrived shortly thereafter. I found out the truth from the paediatrician herself who came clean.”

Advertisement

He says he questions whether or not he should feel so robbed:

“I have wondered whether that moment is too ‘Hollywoodised,’ but experiencing the primal triumph has made me realise that it isn’t unreasonable to feel robbed in that moment. I take solace in the fact that this experience in the hospital, and so much more broadly, fatherhood, is about so much more than that one moment. It’s somewhat comforting to focus on that. But that doesn’t change that one of the most joyful moments of my life has been tainted."

The replies are mixed. KittenTrap agrees it would concern him if his family doctor had such a big mouth:

"I would definitely be concerned about this pediatrician sharing other information with your family; 'Oh what a terrible diaper rash baby had, I think baby has a food allergy, boy is baby sick a lot, they should reconsider their daycare. I think they should supplement but they are all about exclusive breastfeeding'. You get the picture. If you aren't ok with this, seek out a different pediatrician."

While Mfcap has this advice:

"There are important things in life. Friends are close to the top. So is family. What your friend did wasn't malicious. It was maybe selfish. Or misguided. But holding grudges against people for silly stuff is a regret I have seen people have throughout their lives. There are a lot of drama hungry people, and if you yourself values the drama over relationships, keep going with it. File a lawsuit. Get angry. Or, you know, you could focus on your new family and all the love and happiness it brings. The outcomes will be very different for you and your family, I guess it really depends what your goal in life is."

It has prompted more and more couples to take to social media ahead of their baby's birth and posting privacy plea's: One couple wrote: Our baby will be soon here. Please allow us the joy of announcing our baby's arrival. We have waited nine months for this special moment.

Do you feel someone else announcing your birth is a gross violation or does the very nature of social media these days mean nothing is sacred? 

Read more about:

parenting, family time, birth, social media, opinion, birth announcement