“Have a baby,” they said. “It’ll be the best experience of your life,” they said.
It is true that being a parent is very fulfilling, but it also becomes very testing when that cute little lump of a baby learns to walk and talk.
Toddlers are gas, most of the time, but sometimes they’re the most annoying beings on the planet.
Here are ten things that definitively prove toddlers were created to test our patience.
1.Normal human sleep patterns mean nothing to them
Have kids! There are few things more adorable than a 2 year old who refuses to sleep at 3am. #parenting #toddlers
— Perennial Xennial (@PerXennial) February 22, 2018
2.They have an answer for everything
“Kids let’s go home, we are late and daddy may start crying”
4 year old “Yeah he may cry and think you found another man and brought us to live with you two and then marry him”
That’s specific.#parenting #toddlers
— The Elephant Mum (@theelephantmum) February 19, 2018
3.And are often just downright cheeky
Me: little man you have yet to touch your mangoes.
Little man: (patting mangoes) touch, touch.
Me: and I’m done#Momlife #toddlers— Sleepy mama (@kohs_samantha) February 12, 2018
4.They’re hungry ALL THE TIME
Are my children the only ones who seem to eat 4× more than usual when they have a day indoors. I feel like I’m getting them something to eat every 15 minutes ? I need to do another shop #toddlers #mumlife
— Bobbie-ann Wendlekin (@bobster107) February 22, 2018
I sense you are preparing to leave the house for a time critical activity. I will now demand a three course meal #Toddlers
— Leah (@uwleah) February 15, 2018
5.And yet don’t like anything you make them
Random mum: My toddler is so picky, he won’t eat anything with carrot in it
Me: YESSS mine is picky too, he only eats mozzarella sticks, freshly chewed up by a parent, and with a sprinkle of salt, and he’ll only eat after 9pm, and only while watching spider videos.
Random mum: pic.twitter.com/hBThzJLgUe— HashashinTag (@HashashinTag) February 12, 2018
6.They’re not always in great form
You can only blame teething for so long. At some point you need to come to terms with the fact that your kid is just fucking whiney. #parenting #toddlers
— Maie Lynn (@maie_lynn) February 21, 2018
7.And can be very wriggly when they want
Truestory… ??? #Toddlers pic.twitter.com/16RnVafoJz
— Fi ??? (@Fibutton) February 13, 2018
8.Their table manners need work
When your toddler takes a sip from your water bottle and it comes back looking like a snow globe. #parenting #toddlers #toddlermom #momlife #itsyoursnow pic.twitter.com/q4yTLTYnpt
— Peachy Parenting (@PeachyParenting) February 20, 2018
9.They’re just a bit manky
L: “I like tooting in my underpants, it’s smelly!”#toddlers #toots
— Everyday Father of a Little Girl (@DadOfToddler) February 20, 2018
Like, really manky
4 yo: “I have to go potty”
Mom: “pee or poop?”
4 yo: “only pee and only poop”
Mom: “ok…? Are there other options?”
4 yo: “ya…eat.”
Mom: “no…no.”
Dad: “Genius…”#momlife #dadlife #toddlers— Swedest (@Swedest_LA) February 20, 2018
10.And like to make odd demands
When you have to dress both the toddler and the toddler’s toys, getting out on time is impossible! #Parenthood #toddlers pic.twitter.com/DhtatJOCmn
— Mariam Kemple Hardy (@MKemple) February 16, 2018
But, in fairness, you wouldn’t change a thing.
Why I am currently hovering on the edge of a twin size bed with a two year old sprawled out beside me:
*Because he asked me to lay with him.
*Because the day will come when he won’t. #toddler #snuggles— Sharon (@IsSharonHomeYet) February 18, 2018