In a time where our social media feeds are bombarded with glossy happiness, tight post-baby bodies and Pinterest perfect newborns, this honest, raw pictures of new motherhood made mothers everywhere stop in their tracks.
Last week Danielle Haines, from Phoenix, Arizona, posted a picture to her Facebook page of herself holding her newborn son, Ocean, three days after his birth in November 2014. In the photo, the new mum is shirtless with eyes that are red and puffy, seemingly from crying.
This is how she captioned the touching and brutally honest picture:
“This is a picture of me 3 days postpartum. I was so raw and so open, I was a f**ing mess. I loved my baby, I missed his daddy (he went back to work that day), I was mad at my mom, my heart hurt for my brother because my mom left us and now I had a little boy that looked like him, my nipples were cracked and bleeding, my milk was almost in, my baby was getting really hungry, I was feeling sad that people kill babies, like on purpose, I had not slept since I went into labor, I didn’t know how to put my boobs away, my vagina was sore from sitting on it while nursing constantly, I was kinda [losing] my mind.”
The image quickly went viral and has since been shared more than 20,000 times. It touched a nerve with mothers everywhere, who were quick to offer their support and admiration to Haines in their comments, for showing those very raw postpartum days just the way they are.
“You made me cry. [Postpartum] was so hard for me too. Not having the delivery I wanted, especially not getting to see him be born. I was afraid milk wasn’t going to come in, my nipples hurt so bad. I didn’t know how to ask for help,” one woman wrote.
Another said:
“This is so so beautiful. Seriously, I felt exactly the same way and I wish more people talked about it because it’s so unexpected. You feel so guilty for thinking, ‘what have I done?’ even though you love that baby so hard. And yes to the nether regions and the tears and the mom angst.”
One mum added:
“Thank you for sharing that, mama. It takes a lot of courage and confidence to share these most intimate moments. [Postpartum] is no joke! Definitely the most raw and emotional time in a woman’s life. Society doesn’t support this time and honor it as it deserves, as mama deserves, as baby deserves.”
Dr. Sarah Allen, a psychologist who specializes in pregnancy and postpartum mental health, explains to Yahoo Parenting how Haines has done a service to all new mothers by sharing her photo.
“We tend to picture a new mom cradling her baby, and she’s looking down and smiling and the baby is looking up at her lovingly, and the husband has his arm around the mom. Those are the images mothers are usually putting out there.”
She added:
“This is a mother saying ‘this is the reality.’ I think it was so brave of her to share and I applaud her. These things need to be shared. You don’t just have a baby and it suckles right away and it’s all happiness. It’s hard! If women realize that going in, they won’t be so hard on themselves when they have tough times.”
We for one think Danielle’s picture is a beautifully honest description of those first few days with baby. Because it is raw and it is hard, just think of what your body has just been through.
What do YOU think? How was your first few days as a new mum? Do you agree with the comments that pictures like these makes it easier to admit how hard and overwhelming those first few days can be? We would love to hear your thought, so feel free to send me an e-mail to Trine.Jensen@Herfamily.ie
