So, it’s 2016 and we are now clearly making a competitive sport out of taking offense at absolutely anything and everything.
Which sometimes makes me utterly worried for the womanhood and feeling like we are in every way our own worst enemies.
Honestly, do you think most men spend any amount of time worrying and feeling offended by something another man said (whether to his face or to the internet at large)? How many open letters (written by a man) of the “Dear stranger in supermarket check-out line who unknowingly offended me…” have you seen circulating on social media lately?
Thought so. Not a whole lot. Which makes me wonder; have women today suddenly become hyper-sensitive to anything that can remotely be bent to mean something vaguely offensive? Or do we just have too much time on our hands to be doing all this offense taking? Who knows.
Anyway, this week is was celebrity chef Jamie Oliver who landed himself in trouble for having dared to mention and speak up for breastfeeding. Something, according to among others Barbara Ellen in the Guardian, he should not be doing – because he is a man.
What Oliver (himself a father-of-four, with baby #5 on the way) said was this:
“We (Britain) have the worst breastfeeding rates in the world.” (Something that is quite true according to statistics). He went on: “If you breastfeed for more than six months, women are 50% less likely to get breast cancer. When do you ever hear that? Never. It’s also easy, it’s more convenient, it’s more nutritious, it’s better, and it’s free.”
Well, as most of us mamas who have breastfed – or attempted to –know, is that he might have missed the mark a little on the it being easy bit. At least in the beginning. It was tough going for a while, Jamie, until we got the hang of it. (And personally, I ended up doing a mix of boob and bottle after a while, for the benefit of my sanity and my baby’s hunger and sleep).
And guess what? I couldn’t care less what everyone else said I should be doing. Not the lactation consultant and her “just feed more often to boost supply” speeches. Nor my mother. Nor Jamie Oliver. I did what worked best for my baby and me – and took absolute no offense from people who had a different view than mine. It was all sorts of liberating.
The thing is, apart from the it being easy blunder, clearly Oliver was just voicing his opinion on a matter he is passionate about – but was left having to apologise for his words after hundreds of women took to social media to tell Jamie where he could stick his opinions and berated him for telling women what do with their bodies, nipples, and babies. The irony, though, is that had he said he couldn’t care less how women fed their babies, he would probably have had to deal with an onslaught of criticism from breastfeeding advocates for not encouraging it.
It’s a battle you really can’t win.
So after being verbally abused on social media for being a man who supports breastfeeding mamas, Oliver felt compelled to post a public apology to his Twitter account, reading like this:
“It’s simply an area of interest following my nutritional studies over the last two years. I understand that breastfeeding is often not easy and in some cases not even possible but just wanted to support women who DO want to breastfeed and make it easier for them to do so.
“Childhood nutrition starts with supporting pregnant women properly and I expect Mr Cameron also wants to be including this in childhood obesity strategy expected shortly.
“As a father – and father-to-be – I would never wish to offend women or mums as I know how incredible they are and I would get a kicking when I got home! Jamie.”
A man being supporting of breastfeeding? Publicly? How great, really, when you think about it. Maybe – just maybe – it would do wonders for breastfeeding rates if men did speak up about it more and showed more support? Or am I being totally naive thinking women won’t take offense at that too?
Somehow, I think we should be able to read or hear something that is in support of one thing – without automatically thinking it is bashing something else. Encouraging or supporting breastfeeding mums does not mean you are bashing those who formula feed. At all. Just like being supportive of those who choose to bottle-feed (whether fully or through combination feeding, with a bottle here and there) does not mean you don’t support mamas who breastfeed.
Deep breaths, everybody – and here’s to being able to hear opinions, words and even advice from time to time, without getting offended and angry about it, and automatically turn it into a personal attack. Maybe we would all be better off for it.
What do YOU think, ladies? Was Oliver completely out of place with his comments? Or just a man who wanted to show his support for mums who breastfeed? Let us know in the comments or tweet us at @Herfamilydotie
