Wah wah wah! Ten ways a child changes your life forever
Sometimes it can be a bit of a shock how much a child can change your life.
Before, Saturdays seemed to be made solely for lie-ins and Netflix but now, your weekends are filled to the brim with nappy-changing, piercing screams and trying to coax a toddler into eating the pea puree you just lovingly prepared.
The changes can be drastic and we take a look at the top ten ways your little one has altered your life!
1) There’s never a lid that fits
Although your cupboards are jam packed with various bottles and sippy cups finding a lid that fits is often impossible. We are perplexed as to where they could all have disappeared to and we contemplate the existence of a sippy cup lid-stealing fairy. We do this all while a toddler is pulling at our leg demanding apple juice.
2) The supermarket loves you
It seems like we might as well set up a direct debit with our local supermarket because we spend our paycheck trying to feed the brood. Trying to navigate that huge basket of shopping across the car park while gripping the hand of a toddler is a task worthy of a medal.
You might as well get in contact with your chemist too, because a case of the sniffles will cost you a little fortune, which in the past may have been spent on a gorgeous bottle of wine.
3) What's a lie-in?
We no longer need an alarm clock because the sweet sounds of your baby roaring will soon have you up and at ‘em. Remember those days when you used to lie in until 1 o’clock? Now you’re making porridge for the little one not long after dawn.
4) Road trips are hell
Pre-baby, road trips were a bit of an adventure, setting off with friends on a weekend of fun or getting away with your other half for a night in a glorious hotel. Now, journeys are littered with screams and arguments between the kids. ‘Are we there yet?’ becomes a form of mental torture. It might all be okay if our car wasn’t a pigsty or if we didn’t have to listen to the mellow tunes of Barney on that portable DVD player all the way from Cork to Donegal.
5) The Handmaid's Tale? House of Cards? Forget it!
Children are telly-hogs through and through and it’s hard to find time to catch up with what everyone else is watching when Fireman Sam and Barney are on the agenda most evenings. At the beginning we had a soft spot for Peppa and her brother George but now we think that they are truly the making of the devil. If by chance we do get our hands on the TV for an hour, the kids have lost the remote. Or spilt something sticky on it…
6) Prepare to feel like Cinderella
No matter how much cleaning you and your other half do, the house will always end up a bombsite within a few small hours. Spilt yoghurts, bathroom mishaps, mucky footprints and artistic paintings on the walls will always trump the intensive Detol session. The laundry basket is a scary mess. We don’t know how someone so little goes through so many clothes!
7) Three is a crowd
No matter how much you try, your little one will inevitably end up in your bed at some point. The chill of cold little fingers on your skin awake you from a deep sleep and soon you find yourself on the edge of the bed in order to avoid a hard kick from your sprawled out toddler.
8) Become the queen of threats
Every mom’s phone book is bursting with the phone numbers of Santa, the elves, the Easter Bunny and of course the tooth fairy. Although you’d never really want to interrupt these important people, the threat couldn’t hurt. Santa can also be texted, emailed and Skyped, don'tcha you know!
9) Things go missing
Where are the earrings you left on the table or that €50 that was on the mantelpiece? Is there hardly any point looking for these valuables? They are probably flushed down the toilet, buried in the yard or fed to the dog.
10) We love them anyway
No matter how much mischief our little ones get up to or how many hours we spend rocking them to sleep in the depth of night, our children make everything in life so much brighter.