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Parenting

08th Nov 2017

Woman’s sister-in-law requests she only give her kids cash for Christmas

"To me a gift not something that should be expected."

Anna O'Rourke

Where do you stand on giving kids cash as a gift?

A woman has revealed that her sister-in-law has requested that she only give her nieces and nephews cash for Christmas.

The Mumsnet user took to the parenting forum to ask others if she was being unreasonable for wanting to buy her sister-in-law’s four kids presents instead.

“Had a request from SIL (sister-in-law) that could we please give her children cash for Christmas and birthdays as ‘they already have everything’ and often they miss out on gifts when they don’t fit/are duplicated (and I assume don’t like it),” she wrote in a post.

The sister-in-law also said that space is an issue in her house and doesn’t want clutter.

The user explained that she did not want to give cash as the kids are quite young – aged one, five, seven and nine.

She said she offered to ask her sister-in-law’s kids for gift ideas, but that suggestion didn’t go down well either.

“SIL isn’t happy about this at all. Said she’s happy for us to give presents at Christmas but that her dc (dear children) really want money and has made me feel extremely uncomfortable about it all.

“To be honest I’ve suggested a few things to manage clutter like the experience gifts etc and she’s been really difficult, repeating that they (I assume she means she does really) want money and the last message I got from her was a bit antagonistic and making out I was being selfish and not doing the right thing for the children.

“I’m annoyed as to me a gift not something that should be expected. But I wonder if I’ve lost sense of perspective and I’m too stuck in old school ways?”

Some users suggested that the woman buy the children gift vouchers or pay for a day out for the family, but plenty of others agreed that the sister-in-law was out of line.

“Gifts are gifts, you (or your parents) don’t get to dictate what they are. I can see why they are asking but if you want to get them a tangible gift then that’s entirely up to you.”

“Regardless of whether or not you are being unreasonable (and I don’t think you are), it’s a request, not a demand, SIL doesn’t have the right to demand cash.”

“Bonkers. If they have so much they dont need anything and she wont agree a suitable gift then no more gifts. For gods sake dont get into giving money for every Christmas and birthday. Totally joyless transaction.”

What do you think – is it fair to ask for cash as a gift? Join the conversation in the Facebook comments or on Twitter.