Thanks to dad, Mick for supplying this very enlightened list for the edification of new fathers everywhere.
Five things you absolutely shouldn’t say to your wife in the first six months after having a baby:
1 “You should sleep when baby sleeps… I read this somewhere.”
Forget the books, this is rubbish. The books don’t factor in cleaning, washing and sterilising bottles. Lots and lots and lots of bottles.
2 “You look tired/wrecked/shattered/exhausted.”
Of course she does, she sleeps two hours at a time and is working bloody hard. Tell her she looks remarkably well. Even if she looks like the devil in pyjamas.
3 “I was talking to my Mum and she says…”
That worked for your Mum 30 years ago or more. You don’t feed chopped liver to three month olds anymore, apparently. Keep any advice to yourself.
4 “I’m tired.”
You may well do after a bad day at the office, but she is much more tired. This is likely to spark an interesting exchange.
5 “I hope you are enjoying the holiday/break from work.”
It isn’t a holiday, pal. Maternity leave is hard. Really hard.
Mick O’Keeffe is CEO of PSG Communications. He is also Dad to baby Jack, who is the cutest little man alive, despite his four months of colic, lactose intolerance, constant motion and aversion to sleep. A former Dublin Gaelic footballer, Mick is a regular media analyst on topics such as business, sport, sponsorship and media. Follow his musings at @okmick.
