This mum-to-be is worried she won't love her baby because she's not a kid-person 4 months ago

This mum-to-be is worried she won't love her baby because she's not a kid-person

We all have worries during pregnancy.

This mum had one worry in particular that she shared with Mumsnet users.

This was something that had crossed my own mind during my first pregnancy so I was very interested to see what advice mothers would give to this stressed mum to be.

The soon to be mother took to the forum to seek out the words of wisdom of parents who have been there, done that.

"New Mum-to-be here! I want to hear from all you new mums (or not so new mums) about what you wish you knew before having a baby- Bad AND Good!
Scare me, calm me, prepare me! I’ve been a nanny for 8 years but this will be my first baby, and one thing I’m concerned about is if the good outweighs the bad. Being a nanny, I never had that motherly love that you hear about. Obviously because it wasnt my own child, but is it REALLY different when it’s your own? Tell me gals!"

 

I'll be honest, I was never a kid person. I never babysat as a teenager, had no interest in babies and generally panicked if a small child started talking to me. In this way, I can totally get this mum's concern but like the many commenters, I would tell her not to worry. It is completely different when it's your own child.

"The love you feel for your child definitely is different. I never really felt comfortable around other people's kids and since having dd that has changed which is good! I felt a bit shell shocked after dd was born but I think it's because I had a traumatic birth with her. I felt love for her right away but I never knew that it actually grows as your child grows. She's 3 now and every day I feel like I love her more than the day before! She's so cheeky but I love her little personality."

pregnant

Other mums also advised her not to worry if the unconditional love chip doesn't kick in straight away and not to give into mummy guilt.

"Okay the first thing I will mention is the love, for many women they have this unconditional love for their child, if you don't get that rush right away it's fine, your hormones are all over the place and it takes some mummy's a little longer to "feel" so it's totally OK. I'm only mentioning it to you because I wish someone would have told me! I suffered terribly with my first and felt like crap. But I got there in the end and she's now 11!"

A had a little bit of this panic after having my daughter. When I gave birth to my son I couldn't wait to hold him and get my cuddles in but for some reason, I felt different after having my little girl. Coming home from the hospital I was filled with dread that we would never have the bond I have with my little boy. When we got in the door my husband told me to go for a sleep as I hadn't gotten any rest in the ward. After waking, I felt like a new person and couldn't wait to give my baby a squish. I realised then that I was just over exhausted but for a while there I was really beating myself up and thinking I was the worst mum ever.

One mum gave her the ultimate advice which was not to over think everything.

"Don't ask yourself too many questions (I drove myself crazy with googling), just going with the flow makes things so much easier in the early days than having unrealistic expectations of yourself or your baby."

I personally think that there is too much pressure put on modern mums to be perfect and know exactly how to be a parent the minute the baby is born.

Mums of other generations relied heavily on the support of their family and friends but now new mothers feel like they have to take it all on by themselves and if they need help there's something wrong with them.

I would tell this mum-to-be to stop stressing and that she will definitely love her baby. You don't have to have been a member of the babysitter's club to be a good mum. Trust me, I felt the same but six years into parenting I'm doing alright.