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Toddlers

04th Aug 2021

Surviving your toddler’s “NO!” phase and why it’s so important

Melissa Carton

how to diffuse toddler tantrum

It’s a tough but necessary phase for kids.

My three year old is currently a big fan of the word ‘no’ and if yours is too, my condolences.

Everyday is a battle with my daughter when it comes to getting the simplest of tasks done.

Put on your shoes. No. Let me brush your hair. No. Eat your dinner. No. Hold my hand. No.

Honestly at this stage I feel like if I asked her what her name is she would say ‘no’.

While this stage is frustrating to deal with as a parent apparently it’s not only an important phase for our children to go through but essential to their development.

According to phycologist Kathryn Smearling, the ‘no phase’ is all part of our child’s brain development.

It’s important for them to get all of their ‘no, no, nos’ out of their system in order for them to become more self aware and independent.

This stage in their development helps them to figure out them figure out their own limit and boundaries and even how to protect themselves from predatory behaviour from others.

“If a child doesn’t want to be hugged or kissed by another child or adult, their ‘no’ should be respected and listened to. It’s crucial that we understand the context for the ‘no.’”

Cindy Huang, Assistant Professor of Counseling Psychology at Teachers College, Columbia University.

dry eyes

Of course like I mentioned above there will be a whole lot of saying no for absolutely no reason too.

Sometimes they will even say no when they really actually do want something too which can be even more confusing.

As head wrecking as it can be (and it can be) at the end of the day it just means they are figuring out how to be themselves and assertive and hey you never know might lead to them being the CEO of a major corruption down the line.